1991年1月23日
第二季第一集
前女友

Plot summary for "Seinfeld" The Ex-Girlfriend
Jerry begins seeing George's ex-girlfriend, Marlene, whom George finds altogether annoying. Jerry wants to break up with Marlene but can't because she has a "psychosexual hold" on him. Marlene then breaks up with Jerry after seeing his comedy act. George is angry over a huge chiropractor bill, which he argues that he shouldn't have to pay for.

情节概要：
杰瑞开始和乔治的前女友——马尔琳约会，乔治很不爽。杰瑞也想要分手，可是马尔琳在心“性”上控制了他。不过在看过杰瑞的喜剧表演后马尔琳主动提出分手。乔治对医疗按摩的收费很不满，他认为他不该付这笔钱。

[Setting: Nightclub]
（场景：俱乐部）
JERRY: I'm always in traffic with the lane expert. You know this type of person? Constantly reevaluating their lane choice.. Never quite sure, "Is this the best lane for me? For my life?" They're always a little bit ahead of you, "Can I get in over there? Could I get in over here? Could I get in there?" "Yeah, come on over here, pal. We're zoomin' over here. This is the secret lane, nobody knows about it.." The ultimate, I think the ultimate psychological test of traffic is the total dead stop. Not even rolling. And you look out the window, you can see gum clearly. So we know that in the future traffic will get even worse than that. I mean, what will happen? Will it start moving backwords, I wonder? I mean, is that possible? That someday we'll be going "Boy, this is some really bad traffic now, boy. This, is really bad. I'm gonna try to get off and get back on going the other way."
杰瑞：我总是在堵塞的状况里遇到“变线专家”。你知道这类人吗？不停的研究在路线上的选择……永远不确定，“这是我的最佳线路吗？我的人生之路？”而他们总是在你们前面晃荡，“我能变到那条线吗？或是这条线？”“是的，请来这条路吧，我们在这条路上飞奔，这是条秘道，一般人进不来。”我想交通堵塞中，给人带来终极的心理压力的情况是一动不动。滚都滚不动。往车窗外看，你都能看见牙龈（有误）。我们都知道了，将来交通状况还会更差。天，那将是什么情况啊？也许某天我们只能这样：“唉，交通状况真差啊，额滴神，太糟糕了！我都想倒回去了。”
[Setting: Jerry's car]
（场景：杰瑞车中）
GEORGE: She can't kill me right?!
乔治：她不会杀了我对吧？
JERRY: No, of course not.
杰瑞：不，当然不会啊。
GEORGE: People break up all the time.
乔治：人们总是在分手的。
JERRY: Everyday.
杰瑞：每天都是。
GEORGE: It just didn't work out. What can I do? I wanted to love her. I tried to love her. I couldn't.
乔治：这感情反正是行不通了。我能怎么办？我也想爱她的啊，我尽量去爱她了啊，我就是不能啊。
JERRY: You tried.
杰瑞：你尽力了。
GEORGE: I kept looking at her face. I'd go: "C'mon, love her. Love her!"
乔治：我保持着凝视她的脸，心想：加油！爱她！爱她！
JERRY: Did you tell her you loved her?
杰瑞：你告诉过她你爱她吗？
GEORGE: Oh, I had no choice. She squeezed it out of me! She'd tell me she loved me. Alright, at first, I just look at her. I'd go "Oh, really?" or "Boy, that's, that's something." But, eventually you have to come back with "Well, I love you." You know, you can only hold out for so long!"
乔治：哦，我别无选择。她逼人太甚！她说过她爱我，好吧，刚开始时，我只是看着她，琢磨着“哦，真的吗？”或者“天，真不错啊！”但是，最终还是会回到“好吧，我爱你。”你知道你也只能坚持这么久了。
JERRY: You're a human being.
杰瑞：你也是个凡人。
GEORGE: And I didn't even ask her out. She asked me out first. She called me up. What was I supposed to do? Say no? I can't do that to someone.
乔治：我甚至都没有邀请她出来过。都是她主动邀请我。她打电话给我，我能怎么做？说不？我不能对别人这样。
JERRY: You're too nice a guy.
杰瑞：你是个好人。
GEORGE: I am. I'm a nice guy.. (realizing) And she seduced me! We were in my apartment, I'm sitting on the couch, she's on the chair - I get up to go to the bathroom, I come back, she's on the couch. What am I supposed to do? Not do anything? I couldn't do that. I would've insulted her.
乔治：我是，我是个好人……（意识到）是她在诱惑我！我们在我的公寓，我坐在沙发上，她在椅子上，我起身去洗手间，我回来，她坐在沙发上。我能怎么做？啥都不做？我可不能这样！那不是侮辱她嘛。
JERRY: You're flesh and blood.
杰瑞：你只是血气方刚。
GEORGE: I had nothing to do wtih any of this! I met all her friends, I didn't want to meet them. I kept trying to avoid it. I knew it would only get me in deeper. But they were everywhere! They kept popping up, all over the place. "This is Nancy, this is Susan, this is Amy.. This is my cousin.. this is my brother.. thisis my father." It's like I'm in quicksand.
乔治：我与整件事情无关！我见过她所有的朋友，可我压根不想见他们。我一直避免这个。我知道这些只会让我越陷越深。可是他们无处不在！他们不停的跳出来，任何地方……“这是南希，这是苏珊，这是阿美……这是我表亲……这是我兄弟……这是我老爸！”我就像陷入流沙一样……
JERRY: I told you when I met her..
杰瑞：我早就跟你说过的。
GEORGE: My back is killing me.
乔治：我的背痛死了。
JERRY: You gotta go to my chiropractor, he's the best.
杰瑞：你得去看看我的按摩医生，他很棒。
GEORGE: Oh yeah, everybody's guy is the best.
乔治：哦，每个人的都是最棒的。
JERRY: I'm gonna make an appointment for you. We'll go together.
杰瑞：我给你安排个预约，我们一起去。
GEORGE: Please. They don't do anything.. Look, do I have to break up with her in person? CAn't I do it over the phone? I have no stomach for these things.
乔治：得了吧。他们啥效果也起不到……你说我们必须面对面的分手嘛？还是我可以通过电话？我可没胆面对面的说。
JERRY: You should just do it like a Band-Aid. One motion! Right off!
杰瑞：你就该像撕掉邦迪一样，爽快点！快刀斩乱麻！
(Car door opens, it's Elaine)
（车门开，依莲）
ELAINE: Hi.
依莲：嗨。
JERRY: Hi.
杰瑞：嗨。
(George pulls his seat forward to allow Elaine into the back seats)
（乔治座位前移，依莲入后座）
ELAINE: Hey, what are you doing?
依莲：嗨，你们在干啥呢？
GEORGE: I'm letting you in.
乔治：我在让你进车啊。
ELAINE: Oh no. No. I don't want to sit in the back. I'll be left out of the conversation.
依莲：哦，不，不，我不要坐后排，那样我会被排斥在你们的谈话外的。
GEORGE: No, you won't.
乔治：不，你不会的。
ELAINE: Yes, I will, George. I'll have to sick my chin on top of the seat.
依莲：会，我会的，乔治。我坐定那个位子了。
GEORGE: Okay..
乔治：好吧……
(George gets out, and gestures for Elaine to sit in the seat)
（乔治出，示意依莲坐前座）
ELAINE: Why can't you sit in the middle?
依莲：你为什么不坐在中间呢？
GEORGE: Please, it doesn't look good. Boy, boy, girl.
乔治：求你了，这多难看啊。天，天，女人……
ELAINE: I think you're afraid to sit next to a man. You're a little homophobic, aren't you?
依莲：我认为你害怕坐在男人边上。你有点“恐同”，对吧？
GEORGE: Is it that obvious?
乔治：明摆着的事嘛。
(Elaine sits in the middle)
（依莲坐在中间）
ELAINE: Hello, Jerry.
依莲：好啊，杰瑞。
JERRY: Hello.
杰瑞：好。
ELAINE: Did you get a haircut?
依莲：你剪过头发啦？
JERRY: No, shower. So, where are we eating?
杰瑞：没有，洗澡而已。那么，我们吃点啥？
ELAINE: Tell me if you think this is strange: There's this guy who lives in my building, who I was introduced to a couple of years ago by a friend. He's a teacher, or something. Anyway, after we met, whenever we'd run into each other on the street, or in the lobby, or whatever, we would stop and we would chat a little.. Nothing much. Little pleasantries. He was a nice guy, he's got a family.. then after a while, I noticed there was not more stopping. Just saying hello and continuing on our way. And then the verbal hellos stopped, and we just went into these little sort of nods of recognition. So, fine. I figure, that's where this relationship is finally gonna settle: polite nodding. Then one day, he doesn't nod. Like I don't exist?! He went from nods to nothing.
依莲：你倒是说说这事怪不：有个家伙和我同住一幢楼的，几年前一个朋友介绍我们认识过。他是个老师，之类的吧。反正，我们认识后，每次在街上还是楼下的大堂碰到，我们都会听下来闲扯几句。没什么正事，就一些寒暄之类的。他是个不错的家伙，他有家室了。然后过了一阵子，我发现我们不再听下来闲扯了。只是说你好就各走各路了。再接下来就连你好也不说了，只是点头示意一下罢了。那好吧，我以为，这就算是我们关系的最终格局了：点头之交。可接下来一次，他点头都不点了。好像我不存在一样！从点头之交变成了形同陌路。
GEORGE: (imitating Tony Bennett) "You know, I'd go from nods to nothing.."
乔治：（模仿托尼.本内特）“你知道的，我从点头到啥也不做……”
ELAINE: And now, there's this intense animosity whenever we passs. I mean, it's like we really hate each other. It's based on nothing.
依莲：现在就好像我们每次经过的时候都有种仇恨的情绪在蔓延。我是说，就好像我们真的恨对方一样，而其实啥都没有。
JERRY: A relationship is an organism. You created this thing and then you starved it so it turned against you. Same thing happened to The Blob.
杰瑞：一段关系就像个有机体一样。你创造出来，然后你饿着它，他就反戈相向。和电影《The Blob》里面一样。
GEORGE: I think you absolutely have to say something to this guy. Confront him.
乔治：我觉得你必须得对他说点啥吧，和他对质。
ELAINE: Really?
依莲：真的吗？
GEORGE: Yes.
乔治：是啊。
ELAINE: You would do that?
依莲：你会这么做？
GEORGE: If I was a different person.
乔治：要是我是其他人的话。
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Jerry's apartment; Jerry's on the phone]
（场景：杰瑞家，杰瑞在电话中）
JERRY: Hello.. hello. Is Glenn there? I'm sorry. Is this 805-555-3234?.. Yes, I know I have the wrong number. But I just want to know if I dialed wrong or if..
杰瑞：喂……喂，格伦在吗？不好意思，是805-555-3234吗？是，我知道我号码错了，我只是想知道是我拨错了还是……
(Other guy hangs up on Jerry; he redials; enter Kramer)
（对方挂断，杰瑞重拨，克雷默进）
(The buzzer buzzes; Kramer answers it)
（门铃响，克雷默应答）
KRAMER: Come on up.
克雷默：上来吧。
JERRY: (Into phone) Oh, it's you again. See? Now if you had answered me, I wouldn't have had to do this. Now that's too long distance calls I made to you why can't you.. (guy hangs up on Jerry again). (To Kramer) Why? Why do they just hang up like that?! Thank you very much.
杰瑞：（电话）哦，又是你。看见了吧？如果你刚才回答我，我就不用再打给你了。又是个长途，你就不能……（对方又挂断）（对克雷默）为什么？为什么他又挂我电话？！非常感谢。
(Kramer holds up cantaloupe)
（克雷默拿着个甜瓜）
KRAMER: Taste this.
克雷默：尝尝！
JERRY: No, I just had a sandwich.
杰瑞：谢谢，我刚吃过三明治。
KRAMER: No, taste it. Taste it.
克雷默：尝尝，就尝一下吧！
JERRY: I don't want cantaloupe now.
杰瑞：我现在不想吃甜瓜。
KRAMER: You've never had cantaloupe like this before.
克雷默：你肯定没有吃过这么好的甜瓜。
JERRY: I only eat cantaloupe at certain times.
杰瑞：我只在特定的时间吃甜瓜。
KRAMER: Jerry. This is great cantaloupe.
克雷默：杰瑞，这可是很棒的甜瓜啊！
JERRY: Alright.. (tastes it)
杰瑞：好吧……（尝了一下）
KRAMER: Ah, huh. It's good?
克雷默：哦，是恨不错吧？
JERRY: It's very good.
杰瑞：相当好吃。
KRAMER: Good, huh?
克雷默：好吃，对吧？
JERRY: Good.
杰瑞：好吃。
KRAMER: I got it at Joe's.
克雷默：是乔家水果店的。
JERRY: Uh-Huh.
杰瑞：哦。
KRAMER: Forty-nine cents a pound. That's practically half than what you're paying at the supermarket. I don't know why you don't go to Joe's.
克雷默：一磅49美分。只是超市价的一半哦。我就不知道你为啥抵制乔家水果。
JERRY: It's too far.
杰瑞：太远了。
KRAMER: It's three blocks further. You can use my shopping cart..
克雷默：只是再过去3个街区而已。你能用我的购物车。
JERRY: I'm not pulling a shopping cart. What am I suppose to wear? A kerchief? Put stockings on and roll 'em down below my knee?
杰瑞：我是不会用你的购物车了。我该穿啥？围巾？车边挂着袜子，然后骑着它？
KRAMER: See, the other thing is, if you don't like anything, he takes it right back.
克雷默：你要不喜欢的话就别拿着了。
JERRY: I don't return fruit. Fruit is a gamble. I know that going in.
杰瑞：我不把水果送回去的，水果就像是赌博。就那么回事。
(Enter George; he's extremely excited - he's dancing around the room, singing the Zorba theme)
（乔治兴高采烈近来，在屋子里打转，唱歌）
GEORGE: I'm outta there. I did it! It's over.
乔治：我要离开这里，我成功了！一切都结束啦。
JERRY: You did it? What happened?
杰瑞：你成功了？发生啥事了？
GEORGE: I told her. In the kitchen - which was risky 'cause it's near all the knives. I started with the word "Listen."
乔治：我告诉她了。在厨房——考虑到周围全是刀具，还是很危险的。我的开场词是：听着……
JERRY: Ah ha.
杰瑞：啊哈。
GEORGE: I said, "Listen Marlene," and then the next thing I know, I'm in the middle of it. And there's this voice inside of me going: "You're doing it! You're doing it!" And then she started to cry, and I weakened a bit. I almost relented, but the voice, Jerry. The voice said "Keep going, keep going. You're almost out!" It's like I was making a prison break, you know. And I'm heading for the wall, and I trip and I twist my ankle, and they throw the light on you, you know. So, somehow I get though the crying and I keep running. Then the cursing started. She's firing at me from the guard tower: "Son of a bang! Son of a boom!" I get to the top of the wall - the front door. I opened it up, I'm one foot away, I took one last look around the penitentiary, and I jumped!
乔治：我说：“听着，马尔琳”，接下来我所知道的就是我开始了。然后脑海里一个声音在说：你正在做！你正在和她分手！然后她就开始哭泣，我有点退缩。我差不多就要放弃了，但是那个声音，杰瑞。那个声音在说：“加油，坚持住，你差不多就成功了！”这就像我在越狱一样，你知道嘛，我正在冲向围墙，我爬上去、崴了脚，探照灯照向我！突然间，我逃离了她眼泪的牢笼、继续奔跑。然后那个诅咒又来了。她在看守塔楼上调戏我，狗娘养的。（不太理解）我爬到墙头，到了前门，打开大门，只有一步之遥啦，我再最后看了一眼监狱，然后，我跳了出去！
JERRY: See, it's never as bad as you imagine.
杰瑞：看见了吧，不像你想的那么坏吧。
KRAMER: I liked Marlene. What's her number?
克雷默：我喜欢马尔琳，她的电话是？
GEORGE: No, I, I don't think so.
乔治：省省吧，你TMD少来。
(Kramer stants making noises while eating)
（克雷默吃出声音）
JERRY: Could you stop that smacking?
杰瑞：麻烦你别发出这种声音好不？
KRAMER: George, I want you to taste this cantaloupe.
克雷默：乔治，我要你尝一下这甜瓜。
GEORGE: Oh no, thank you.
乔治：哦，不，谢谢。
KRAMER: It's the best cantaloupe I ever had.
克雷默：这可是我吃过的最好的甜瓜啦。
GEORGE: No, really. No, no, thanks.
乔治：不，真的，不，不，谢啦。
KRAMER: Jerry, tell him how good this cantaloupe is.
克雷默：杰瑞，告诉他这甜瓜有多好。
JERRY: It's very good cantaloupe. (changing subject) So that's it? You're out?
杰瑞：这是很好的甜瓜。（换话题）那就这样啦，你就脱离感情的束缚啦？
GEORGE: Except for one small problem. I left some books in her apartment.
乔治：还有个小尾巴，我在她家落下几本书。
JERRY: So, go get them.
杰瑞：那么，去拿回来呗。
GEORGE: Oh, no. No, I can't go back there. Jerry, it's so awkward and, you know, it could be dangerous - sexually. Something could happen, I'd be right back where I started.
乔治：哦，不，不，我不能再去那里。杰瑞，这很尴尬的，你知道的，还很危险——性的诱惑。可能会发生什么的，我又会回到原点啦。
JERRY: So forget about the books. Did you read them?
杰瑞：那就忘了这些书吧，你要看？
GEORGE: Well, yeah.
乔治：是的。
JERRY: What do you need them for?
杰瑞：你要这些书干嘛？
GEORGE: I don't know. They're books.
乔治：我不知道，可那是书啊。
JERRY: What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses - like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?
杰瑞：真搞不懂有些人这么迷恋书本。他们把书放到屋子里——就好像他们的战利品似的。真不知道看完后还有什么用。
GEORGE: They're MY books.
乔治：可那是我的书！
JERRY: So you want me to get those books? Is that it?
杰瑞：难道你想要我去取回这些书？你是这意思？
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Coffee Shop]
（场景：咖啡馆）
(Jerry and Marlene are sitting, a pile of books are on the table.)
（杰瑞和马尔琳坐着，放着一堆书）
MARLENE: ..So, it must've been ninety-five degrees that night, and everyone's just standing around the pool with little drinks in their hands. I was wearing my old jeans and T-shirt. And I don't know, I was just in one of those moods - so I said to myself, "Marlene, just do it," and I jumped in. And as I'm getting out, I feel all these eyes on me, and I look up and everyone is just staring at me.
马尔琳：……那晚大概有95度的高温，每个人都拿着酒在游泳池旁站着。我穿着旧牛仔和T裇衫，突然间不知道为什么，我就来了情绪了，我对自己说：马尔琳，去做吧。我就跳了下去。当我出来时，我感觉所有的目光都集中在我身上，我就坦然迎接这种目光。
JERRY: So what'd you do?
杰瑞：你做啥啦？
MARLENE: Well, nothing. It's not skin off my hide if people like to look. I just didn't see what the big attraction was.
马尔琳：实际上也没啥。不就是我的身材在湿漉漉的衣服里面呼之欲出嘛，就啥大不了的。
JERRY: Well, I have a general idea what it was. I could take a guess.
杰瑞：呵呵，我能猜出个大概来。
MARLENE: (Laughs) Hey, you know, Jerry, just because George and I don't see each other anymore, it doesn't mean we shouldn't stay friends.
马尔琳：（笑）嗨，你知道嘛，杰瑞，虽然我和乔治分手了，但我和你还可以是朋友吧？
JERRY: No.
杰瑞：当然。
MARLENE: Good enough. I'm really glad we got that settled.
马尔琳：很好。很高兴都处理好了。
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Chiropractor waiting room]
（场景：按摩理疗等候室）
JERRY: (Irritated) I don't know how this happened.
杰瑞：（激怒状）不知道这是怎么发生的。
GEORGE: Jerry, it's not my fault.
乔治：杰瑞，这不是我的问题。
JERRY: No, no. It's not your fault. Books, books, I need my books. Have you re-read those books yet, by the way? You know the great thing? When you read Moby Dick the second time, Ahab and the whale become good friends. You know, it's not like Marlene's a bad person or anything, but, my God! I mean, we've had like three lunches and a movie. And she never stops calling. (George nods - he knows exactly what Jerry's talking about) And it's these meaningless, purposeless, blather calls. She never asks if I'm busy or anything. I just pick up the phone and she's in the middle of a sentence.
杰瑞：不，不，不是你的问题。书，书，我需要我的书。顺便问一句，你有没有再度光临一下你的“书”啊？你知道好玩的是啥吗？当你第二次读《大白鲸》时，你会发现啊哈和白鲸成了好朋友呢。要知道，这可不是因为马尔琳的个性不好或什么，但是，额滴神啊！我们已经共进了三次午餐和一部电影，她还不停的骚扰我。（乔治点头，他了解杰瑞说的话）还有这些无聊的、漫无边际的废话电话。她从不问我是否在忙其他事啊。我拿起电话，她就已经打开话茬了。
GEORGE: That's standard. Has she left you one of those messages where she uses up the whole machine?
乔治：这很附和程序。她是不是给你答录机留言，一个留言就占据你机器的全部空间的那种？
JERRY: Ohh.. you know, and sometimes she'll go, "Hello, Jerry?" and I'll go "Oh, hi Marlene." And then it's "Jerry.."
杰瑞：哦，有时候我们这么交流，她说：喂，杰瑞？我回答：哦，嗨，马尔琳。然后就是“杰瑞……”
GEORGE: What about getting off the phone?
乔治：有没有试过离开电话？
JERRY: Ohhhh.. you can't. It's impossible. There's no break in the conversation where you can go, "Alright, then.. " You know, it just goes on and on and on with out a break in the wall. I mean, I gotta put a stop to this.
杰瑞：哦……可不能。这不可能的。她的话里根本没有空间让你插一句：“好吧，那么……”。你知道，一直不停的说啊说啊一刻不停，我是说，我必须喊停了。
GEORGE: Just do it like a Band-Aid. One motion, right off! She is sexy though. Don't you think?
乔治：就像撕下邦迪一样啊。一次性的，立马解决。不过她是有点小性感啦，你觉得吗？
JERRY: Yeah. Yes, she is.
杰瑞：是，是的，可不是嘛。
(Receptionist enters)

RECEPTIONIST: Mr. Costanza?
接待员：康斯坦茨先生？
GEORGE: Yeah.
乔治：是的。
RECEPTIONIST: The doctor'll see you now.
接待员：医生就来了。
GEORGE: (To Jerry, sarcastically) Yeah, doctor. I'm going to have to wait in that little room by myself, aren't I? (Picks up a crossword puzzle) I better take this. I hate the little room. "Oh, hello, Doctor."
乔治：（对杰瑞，讽刺的）是啊，医生。我将要去那间小密室里面孤独等待，是吧？（拿过一个字谜的报纸）我还是带着这个吧，我讨厌小房间。“哦，你好，医生”。
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Night club]
（场景：俱乐部）
JERRY: Waiting room. I hate when they make you wait in the room. 'Cause it says "Waiting room." There's no chance of not waiting, 'cause they call it the waiting room, they're going to use it. They've got it. It's all set up for you to wait. And you sit there, you know, and you've got your little magazine. You pretend you're reading it, but you're really looking at the other people. You know, you're thinking about about them things like "I wonder what he's got. As soon as she goes, I'm getting her magazine." And then, they finally call you and it's a very exciting moment. They finally call you, and you stand up and you kinda look around at the other people in the room. "Well, I guess I've been chosen. I'll see you all later." You know, so you think you're going to see the doctor, but you're not, are you? No. You're going into the next waiting room. The littler waiting room. But if they are, you know, doing some sort of medical thing to you, you want to be in the smallest room that they have, I think. You don't wnat to be in the largest room that they have. You know what I mean? You ever see these operating theaters, that they have, with like, stadium seating? You don't want them doing antying to you that makes other doctors go, "I have to see this!" "Are you kidding? Are they really gonna do that to him?" "Are there seats? Can we get in?" Do they scalp tickets to these things? "I got two for the Winslow tumor, I got two.."
杰瑞：等候室。我讨厌被要求在个房间里等着。因为上面写着“等候室”。不可能不去等待，因为人们叫它“等候室”，他们将进去，使用这房间。其实要你等着都是糊弄人的。你知道的，你坐在那里，带着你的小杂志。你假装你在看杂志，其实你在张望其他人。你在想些事情，“我想他在看什么杂志呢，一旦他走了，我就要他那本杂志。”然后，终于轮到你了，这可是个激动人心的时刻。他们终于叫你的名字了，你起身环顾等候室里的其他人。“好吧，我想我被选中了，咱们待会见啦。”你认为你可以去见医生了，其实不然，可不是嘛。是的，你又要去下一间等候室，更小的房间。但是我想如果他们对你做点啥检查啊，你一定会想待在一间最小的房间里。你可不想在他们最大的那间房里。知道我在说什么吗？你见过“手术舞台”吗？就是像体育场般有座位的？你可不想出现这幅画面吧：医生们说，“我得看看这个！”、“你扯淡吧，他们真的要对他做这些？”、“还有座位吗，我们能进来吗？”他们甚至都可以卖票。“我有两张温氏肿瘤的票子，我有两张……”
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Waiting room]
（场景：等候室）
(George returns)
（乔治回来）
JERRY: So, how was it?
杰瑞：怎么样？
GEORGE: I was in there for two minutes. He didn't do anything. (Imitating doctor) Touch this, feel that. Seventy-five bucks.
乔治：我在那儿两分钟，他啥也没干。（模仿医生）碰碰这儿，摸摸那儿的。75美金！
JERRY: Well, it's a first visit.
杰瑞：唉，这是初诊嘛。
GEORGE: What's seventy-five bucks? What, am I seeing Sinatra in there?! Amd I being entertained? I don't understand this. I'm only paying half.
乔治：75美金就为这？！什么，难道我看到Sinatra天王啦？！（注：美著名歌手）有啥余兴节目？费解！我只付一半钱。
JERRY: You can't do that.
杰瑞：你不能这么做。
GEORGE: Why not?
乔治：为什么不？
JERRY: He's a doctor. You gotta pay what he says.
杰瑞：他是医生。他说多少你都得付。
GEORGE: Oh, no, no, no. I pay what I say.
乔治：哦，不，不，不。我说多少就是多少。
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Jerry's car]
（场景：杰瑞的车里）
MARLENE: Are you feeling weird?
马尔琳：你有没有觉得诡异？
JERRY: No, I'm fine.
杰瑞：没有，我还好啦。
MARLENE: Nothing really happened.
马尔琳：啥也没有发生。
JERRY: Yeah, I know.
杰瑞：是，我知道。
MARLENE: We just kissed a little. People kiss.
马尔琳：我们只是亲了一下下。普通的礼仪吻啦。
JERRY: Yeah.
杰瑞：可不是嘛。
MARLENE: Well.. night.
马尔琳：那么……晚安。
(Leans over and kisses Jerry)
（凑过来吻杰瑞）
JERRY: Good night.
杰瑞：晚安。
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Jerry's apartment]
（场景：杰瑞家）
(Kramer enters with a golf club)
（克雷默拿着高尔夫球棒进屋）
KRAMER: Hey.
克雷默：嗨。
JERRY: Hey.
杰瑞：嗨。
KRAMER: I got it! This time, I got it!
克雷默：我办到！这次我办到了！
JERRY: Alright.
杰瑞：好耶。
KRAMER: Hips! See, it's all hips.
克雷默：喝彩声！全是喝彩声！
JERRY: Uh-huh.
杰瑞：嗯。
KRAMER: You gotta come through with the hips first. (Demonstrates)
克雷默：你先得穿过一群欢呼的人群。（表现）
JERRY: That is out there.
杰瑞：好大的场面。
(Kramer notices Jerry's eating cantaloupe, his eyes light up)
（克雷默发现杰瑞吃甜瓜，眼朝上看）
KRAMER: Joe's?
克雷默：乔家水果？
JERRY: No, supermarket.
杰瑞：不，超市。
KRAMER: Well, is it good?
克雷默：好吧，好吃嘛？
JERRY: It's okay.
杰瑞：还行啦。
KRAMER: Let me taste it. (Takes a bite, spits it out) See, that stinks. You can't eat that. You should take it back.
克雷默：让我尝尝。（试了一口，吐了）不是我说什么，这太难吃了。你怎么能吃这个呢。你该还回去。
JERRY: I'm not taking it back.
杰瑞：我才不拿回去呢。
KRAMER: Alright, I'll take it back. I'm going by there.
克雷默：好吧，我拿回去。反正我路过。
JERRY: I don't care about it.
杰瑞：我不在乎。
KRAMER: Jerry, you should care. Cantaloupe like this should be taken out of circulation.
克雷默：杰瑞，你应该在乎的。这种甜瓜就不配活在这个世上。
JERRY: Alright. Take it back.
杰瑞：好吧，拿回去。
(Phone rings, Jerry is reluctant to answer it)
（电话铃响，杰瑞不情愿的去接听）
JERRY: (On his answering machine) Leave a message, I'll call you back.
杰瑞：（答录机）请留言，我会给您回电。
MARLENE: (Leaving a message) Jerry, have you ever taken a bath in the dark? If I'm not talking into the soap right now, call me back.
马尔琳：（留言）杰瑞，你有在黑暗中洗澡吗？我现在全身都是泡泡，给我回电。
KRAMER: Well?
克雷默：啥意思？
JERRY: Marlene
杰瑞：是马尔琳。
KRAMER: (Smiles) Oh. Oh, Marlene.
克雷默：（笑）哦，哦，马尔琳。
JERRY: Yeah, I took her home one night - we kinda started up a little bit in the car.
杰瑞：是的，有一晚我送她回家时我们在车上小亲热了一下。
KRAMER: I thought you were trying to get rid of her?
克雷默：你不是号称要甩掉她的嘛。
JERRY: I was. She's got me, like, hypnotized.
杰瑞：我是啊。她搞定我了，就像催眠一样。
KRAMER: Does George know?
克雷默：乔治知道不？
JERRY: No, he'd go nuts.
杰瑞：不，不然他会疯的。
KRAMER: Yeah, no kidding.
克雷默：好家伙，还用你说。
JERRY: I feel terrible. (Kramer smiles) I mean, I've seen her a couple of times since then, and I know I can't go any further, but.. I've just got this like, psycho-sexual hold over me. I just want her, I can't breathe. It's like a drug.
杰瑞：我感觉很糟。（克雷默笑）我是说，我们就见过几次，我也知道我不能再和她纠缠下去了，但是……我好像被她“心性”吸引了一样。我想要她，我无法呼吸了，就像吸毒。
KRAMER: Woah, psycho-sexual.
克雷默：喔，心性。
JERRY: I don't know how I'm going to tell him.
杰瑞：我不知道怎么跟乔治说。
KRAMER: Man, I don't understand people. I mean, why would George want to deprive you of pleasure? Is it just me?
克雷默：伙计，我不了解你们。不过乔治为什么要剥夺你的快乐呢？我就不会。
JERRY: It's partially you, yeah.
杰瑞：你不会，是吧。
KRAMER: You're his friend. Better that she should sleep with someone else. Some jerk that he doesn't even know.
克雷默：你是他的朋友，总比她和其他男人睡来得好吧。那些乔治都不认识的混蛋们。
JERRY: Well, he can't kill me, right?
杰瑞：也是，他总不能宰了我，是吧？
KRAMER: You're a human being.
克雷默：你也是个凡人。
JERRY: I mean, she called me. I haven't called her. She started it.
杰瑞：我是说，她给我电话，我可没有给她打过，她开始的。
KRAMER: You're flesh and blood.
克雷默：你血气方刚。
JERRY: I'm a nice guy.
杰瑞：我是个不错的小伙子。
(Enter Elaine, she's holding a lamp)
（依莲进，掌灯）
ELAINE: Hi. (Hands Jerry the lamp)
依莲：嗨。（把灯给杰瑞）
JERRY: Oh, my little airplane lamp.
杰瑞：哦，我的小飞机灯。
ELAINE: You know, you have the slowest elevator in the entire city? That's hard to get used to when you're in so many other fast ones.
依莲：你知道不，你们家的电梯是全城最慢的！当你用过那么多快速电梯后很难适应这老家伙。
JERRY: Well, the apartment elevators are always slower than the offices, because you don't have to be home on time.
杰瑞：住宅里的电梯总归要比办公楼的电梯慢一些，因为你回家不需要准时。
ELAINE: Unless you're married to a dictator..
依莲：除非你嫁给一个独裁者……
JERRY: Yeah.. because they would be very demanding people.
杰瑞：是……这种人总是很苛刻的。
ELAINE: Right. Exactly. So I imagine at some point, somebody's going to offer me some cantaloupe.
依莲：是啊。可不是嘛。我想啊，也许某个时刻，某人会给我一点甜瓜尝尝。
KRAMER: Nope. No good.
克雷默：不。没门儿。
JERRY: Well, you know what they say: Luck in love, Unlucky with fruit.
杰瑞：你知道他们怎么说嘛：情场得意，果场失意。
KRAMER: Well, I'm taking this back. (Leaves)
克雷默：好吧，我把这些送回去。（离开）
ELAINE: So, I had what you might call a little encounter this morning.
依莲：那么，早上我又遇到了我跟你们提起过的邂逅。
JERRY: Really? That guy who stopped saying hello?
杰瑞：真的？那个路过不说你好的家伙？
ELAINE: Yep.
依莲：是。
JERRY: You talked to him?
杰瑞：你和他说话啦？
ELAINE: Yep. I spotted him getting his mail. And at first, I was just going to walk on by, but then I thought "no, no, no, no. Do not be afraid of this man."
依莲：是。他取邮件时我拦住他了，本来想路过算了，但后来我想“不，不，不，不要怕这个人”。
JERRY: Right.
杰瑞：没错。
ELAINE: So, I walked up behind him and I tapped him on the shoulder. And I said, "Hi, remember me?" And he furrows his brow as if he's really trying to figure it out. So I said to him, I said, "You little phony. You know exactly who I am."
依莲：那么，我上前一步，拍拍他的肩，说：“嗨，记得我不？”，他的眉毛纠结好像很难想起来。我又跟他说了：“你这个小瘪三，你很清楚我是谁。”
JERRY: "You little phony"?
杰瑞：“你这个小瘪三”？
ELAINE: I did. I most certainly did. And he said, he goes, "Oh, yeah. You're Jeanette's friend. We did meet once." And I said, "Well, how do you go from that to totally ignoring a person when they walk by?"
依莲：没错。我差不多做到了。然后他说，“哦，想起来了，你是杰内特的朋友。我们见过一次。”我说，“是啊，你怎么就变成对我视而不见了呢？”
JERRY: Amazing.
杰瑞：精彩极了。
ELAINE: And he says, he says, "Look, I just didn't want to say hello anymore, alright?" And I said, "Fine. Fine I didn't want to say hello anymore either, but I wanted you to know that I'm aware of it."
依莲：然后他又说了，“唉，我只是不想再说你好了，行吧？”然后我说，“行，行，我也不再说你好了，但是我想让你知道我受伤害了。”
(Elaine tastes some cantaloupe)
（依莲尝尝甜瓜）
JERRY: You are the Queen of Confrontation. You're my new hero. In fact, you've inspired me. I'm gonna call George about something right now.
杰瑞：你可真是对质女王。你是我的新偶像。不瞒你说，你激励我了。我现在要跟乔治说点事情。
ELAINE: This cantaloupe stinks. (Spits it out)
依莲：这甜瓜难吃死了。（吐了）
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Coffee Shop]
（场景：咖啡馆）
GEORGE: I don't care.
乔治：我不在乎。
JERRY: You're kidding.
杰瑞：你开玩笑吧。
GEORGE: No, I don't care.
乔治：不，我真不在乎。
JERRY: You mean that?
杰瑞：你确定？
GEORGE: Absolutely.
乔治：确定一定以及肯定。
JERRY: You don't care?
杰瑞：你不在乎？
GEORGE: No.
乔治：无视。
JERRY: How could you not care?
杰瑞：你怎么能不在乎呢？
GEORGE: I don't know. But I don't. I'm actually almost happy to hear it.
乔治：我不知道。但是我就是不在乎。我甚至很高兴听到这个。
JERRY: I thought you'd be upset.
杰瑞：我以为你会很不爽呢。
GEORGE: I guess I should be but I'm not.
乔治：我也以为会这样，但是我没有。
JERRY: Am I a bad person? Did I do something terrible?
杰瑞：我是不是很坏啊？是不是做了很垃圾的事情？
GEORGE: No, you're a fine person. You're a humanitarian. She's very sexy.
乔治：不，你是个很好的家伙。你是人道主义者。她很性感。
JERRY: That voice. That voice. She's driving me crazy.
杰瑞：那个声音，那个声音，她把我逼疯了。
GEORGE: I know, I know.
乔治：我知道，了解。
JERRY: So I can see her tonight, and you don't care?
杰瑞：那么我今晚能见她啦，你不在乎？
GEORGE: See her tonight. See her tomarrow. Go. Knock yourself out. She's too crazy for me.
乔治：今晚去见她，明天去见她，放手去吧。尽情享受吧。我可吃不消她的疯劲儿。
JERRY: Alright. As long as you're okay. Because I can't stop thinking about her.
杰瑞：好吧，只要你没问题，因为我现在可是没有一刻不想她啊。
GEORGE: I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm wonderful. I never felt better in my whole life.
乔治：我没事，我很好，我好得不得了。前所未有的好。
JERRY: Good. And I'll tell you what.. You don't have to pay me back the thirty-five I gave to the chiropractor for the rest of your bill.
杰瑞：很好。那我跟你说……我帮你付清了按摩理疗的账单，你不用还我35块钱了。
GEORGE: (Angry) You paid that crook?!
乔治：（发疯）你给那个骗子钱了？
JERRY: I had to.
杰瑞：我不得不啊。
GEORGE: He didn't do anything, Jerry. It's a scam! Who told you to do that?
乔治：他什么也没做啊，杰瑞，这是骗局，谁要你这么做的？！
JERRY: It was embarrassing to me.
杰瑞：我觉得不付有点尴尬。
GEORGE: I was trying to make a point.
乔治：我努力去表明我的立场来着。
JERRY: Why don't you make a point with your own doctor? (George gulps) What's wrong?
杰瑞：你为啥不对你自个儿的医生表明立场？有啥问题吗？
GEORGE: (Gasping) I think I swallowed a fly! ..I swallowed a fly! What do I do? What can happen?
乔治：我大概吞下了个苍蝇！我吞下个苍蝇！我该怎么做？！会发生什么事啊？！
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Jerry's car]
（场景：杰瑞车中）
JERRY: ..So, you want to come up for a few minutes?
杰瑞：……你想要上去坐坐吗？
MARLENE: ..I'm sorry, Jerry. I just don't think this is going to work.
马尔琳：……不好意思，杰瑞，我只是觉得这关系大概行不通。
JERRY: Really? I thought..
杰瑞：真的？我认为……
MARLENE: I know, I'm sorry.
马尔琳：我知道，对不起。
JERRY: I guess I just didn't expect it from the way you've been acting.
杰瑞：我猜从你的表现打死我都想不到有这一出。
MARLENE: You sure you want to talk about this? 'Cause I sure don't.
马尔琳：你确信要谈这个？我可不想谈。
JERRY: Of course I want to talk about it.
杰瑞：我当然要谈这个问题。
MARLENE: Well, okay. I guess things changed for me on Tuesday night.
马尔琳：好吧，好。周二那晚改变了我。
JERRY: Tuesday night? What happened Tuesday night?
杰瑞：周二晚上？周二晚发生了什么？
MARLENE: ..I saw your act.
马尔琳：……我看到你的演出了。
JERRY: My act? What does that have to do with anything?
杰瑞：我的演出？这跟这些有啥关系呀？
MARLENE: Well, to be honest, it just didn't make it for me. It's just so much fluff.
马尔琳：好吧，老实说，反正不是我要的样子，太多没有意义的话了。
JERRY: I can't believe this. So what are you saying? You didn't like my act, so that's it?
杰瑞：难以置信。你想说什么？你不喜欢我的演出，那又如何？
MARLENE: I can't be with someone if I don't respect what they do.
马尔琳：如果我不尊重那个人的工作，我肯定不能和那个人在一起。
JERRY: You're a cashier!
杰瑞：你只是个收银员！
MARLENE: Look, Jerry, it's just not my kind of humor.
马尔琳：听着，杰瑞，反正那不是我喜欢的幽默。
JERRY: You can't go by the audience that night. It was late. They were terrible.
杰瑞：你不能根据当晚观众的表现来看啊，那天很晚了，那些观众很没素质。
MARLENE: I heard the material.
马尔琳：我听到你的“料”了。
JERRY: I have other stuff. You should come see me on the weekend.
杰瑞：我还有别的料呢。你应该周末过来听听。
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Night club]
（场景：俱乐部）
JERRY: Women need to like the job of the guy they're with. If they don't like the job, they don't like the guy. Men know this. Which is why we make up the phony bogus names for the jobs that we have. "Well, right now, I'm the regional management supervisor." "I'm in development, research, consulting." Men on the other hand, if they are physically attracted to a woman are not that concerned with her job. Are we? Men don't really care. Men'll just go, "Really? Slaughterhouse? Is that were you work? That sounds interesting. So whatdya got a big cleaver there? You're just lopping their heads off? That sounds great! Listen, why don't you shower up, and we'll get some burgers and catch a movie."
杰瑞：女人得喜欢那个男人的工作才能和他在一起。要是她们不喜欢那工作的话，她们就不会喜欢那男人。男人们都知道这些。所以我们才绞尽脑汁编造出一些假的公司、职位名字。“嗯，现在，我是区域管理督导”，“我在发展部，研发，咨询”。而男人在被一个女人吸引的时候，才不会在乎她的职业呢。可不是嘛？我们一点也不在乎。男人只会说，”真的？在屠宰场？这是你工作的地方？听起来很有意思嘛。你们是不是有很大的屠刀？你们就是把畜生们的脑袋砍了？听起来真棒！听着，要不你冲个凉，我们去吃点汉堡、看个电影啥的？
 

END OF SHOW.

自己庆祝一下，做完第一季了！

1990年6月21日
第一季第五集
股市消息

Plot summary for "Seinfeld" The Stock Tip
Jerry becomes apprehensive when he and George buy stock and the price falls while the person who suggested the stock is in a coma and can't tell them when to sell.

情节概要：
杰瑞和乔治买了股票，股市下跌，内部人士告知股市在震荡中不能告诉他们什么时候能抛售，杰瑞开始担忧。

[Setting: Nightclub]
（场景：俱乐部）
JERRY: Went out to dinner the other night. Check came at the end of the meal, as it always does. Never liked the check at the end of the meal system, because money's a very different thing before and after you eat. Before you eat money has no value. And you don't care about money when you're hungry, you sit down at a restaurant. You're like the ruler of an empire. "More drinks, appetizers, quickly, quickly! It will be the greatest meal of our lives." Then after the meal, you know, you've got the pants open, you've got the napkins destroyed, cigarette butt in the mashed potatoes - then the check comes at that moment. People are always upset, you know. They're mystified by the check. "What is this? How could this be?" They start passing it around the table, "Does this look right to you? We're not hungry now. Why are we buying all this food?!"
杰瑞：一天晚上我出去吃饭。吃完了，账单上来了。我很不喜欢吃完后付这样的程式，因为饭前还是饭后钱的意义很不一样。在你吃之前，钞票一点价值都没有，你饿的时候根本不关心钱的问题，你坐在一个餐馆，就像帝国的统治者一样。“再来点饮料！开胃菜！快点！快点！这将是我生命中一顿伟大的饭。”然后吃完饭了，你知道的，你的裤子撑大了，你摧毁了一些纸巾，你把烟蒂熄灭在土豆泥里——正当此时，账单上来了。人们此时往往很不安，对账单表示很迷惑。“这是什么？怎么会这样？”开始在餐桌上传阅，“这账单对不对啊？我们现在不饿了，我们为什么买这么多吃的啊？！”
[Setting: Coffee Shop]
（场景：咖啡馆）
JERRY: I think Superman probably has a very good sense of humor.
杰瑞：我认为超人有很强的幽默感。
GEORGE: I never heard him say anything really funny.
乔治：我从来没听过他说过什么搞笑的。
JERRY: But it's common sense. He's got super strength, super speed.. I'm sure he's got super humor.
杰瑞：可这是常识啊，你想啊，他有超级的体力，超级的速度……我确信他有超级的幽默感。
GEORGE: You would think that, but either you're born with a sense of humor, or you're not. It's not going to change even if you go from the red sun of Krypton all the way to the yellow sun of the Earth.
乔治：只是你的想法罢了，除非你生来就有幽默感，不然的话，就算你从氪星球一路走到地球来也不见得会培养出幽默感。
JERRY: Why? Why would that one area of his mind not be affected by the yellow sun of Earth?
杰瑞：为什么？为什么他意识中的那部分不会被太阳影响？
GEORGE: I don't know but he ain't funny.
乔治：我不知道但是他不好玩。
(Elaine joins them, they check their watches.)
（依莲过来，对表）
ELAINE: I know, I know. I'm sorry I'm late.
依莲：了解，了解，不好意思我迟了。
JERRY: No problem.
杰瑞：没问题。
ELAINE: I dropped a grape.
依莲：我掉了一颗葡萄。
GEORGE: Pardon?
乔治：什么？
ELAINE: I dropped a grape in the kitchen and it disappeared. I couldn't find it. I was... I was literally on my knees for ten minutes looking for this stupid grape. I have no idea where it went.
依莲：我在厨房掉了一颗葡萄，消失了，我找不到了。我蹲在地上足足有10分钟，找那颗该死的葡萄，我不知道它上哪儿去了。
JERRY: Were you crying? I mean, it's just a grape. You'll find it.
杰瑞：你哭了嘛？我是说，这只是颗葡萄嘛，你会找到的。
ELAINE: No, I'm just getting over an allergy attack. This guy I'm going out with -
依莲：不，我刚刚经受了过敏的袭击，那个和我约会的家伙……
JERRY: Robert.
杰瑞：罗伯特。
ELAINE: Robert. Yes.. thank you. He has two cats and I'm allergic to them. You know, I finally meet a normal man, and I can't even go into his apartment, you know. And, of course, my apartment is the actor's studio so we can't go there. It's really causing a lot of problems, you know. He won't even go away fro the weekend because of these cats.
依莲：罗伯特，是的……谢谢。他有两只猫，我对猫过敏。我好不容易找到个正常的男人，可我却进不了他的家门……还有，我的小窝现在是演艺人员之家，所以我们也不能到那儿。这真是个大麻烦，为了这些猫，他在周末都不能外出。
GEORGE: Guys with cats.. I don't know.
乔治：猫猫男……我是搞不懂。
JERRY: I've been thinking about asking this girl I'm, uh, seeing -
杰瑞：我在打算叫那个女的……
ELAINE: Vanessa.
依莲：凡妮莎。
JERRY: Vanessa, thank you.. I've been thinking about asking her to go away for a couple of days.
杰瑞：凡妮莎，谢谢……我想约她一起出去玩几天。
GEORGE: Oh no. No, no,no,no,no. I'd have to advise against that. What do you know this woman, a month? Let's see, you're going to be with her seventy-two hours. That's a dating decathlon.
乔治：哦，不，不，不。我不是想扫你的兴。你对这个女的了解多少，认识一个月了？让我说啊，你要是和她呆足72小时，就像是一场十项全能比赛一样。
ELAINE: (balancing a spoon on her nose) Hey, why don't you take her to that place in Vermont I was telling you about? You know, that really charming place with the separate faucets for the hot and cold. She'll love it.
依莲：嗨，你不如带她去我说的那个在弗蒙特的去处？你知道嘛，那地方真是迷人极了，水龙头还分热水和冷水呢，她一定会爱死那里的。
GEORGE: (To Elaine) That's exquisite. Listen, uh, if it's not too much trouble, could you pass me that paper over there?
乔治：（对依莲）很别致呀，听着，嗯，行个好，帮我把那张报纸给我。
(Elaine gets the paper, he starts flipping through it.)
（依莲拿来报纸，乔治开始看）
JERRY: You better find that grape before it mutates into another life form. (Elaine laughs) There was once a mutant grape that terrorized an entire town in the Texas panhandle. They brought in the army, nobody could stop it. Apparently it had a pit of steel.
杰瑞：你最好趁那个葡萄还没有进入来世之前找到它。（依莲笑）曾经有过一次，一颗变异的葡萄让整个德州的一个小镇陷入恐慌。他们把它带到军队，没人能制止它，它好像穿了钢盔了。
GEORGE: (To himself) Up again?! This is incredible. I'm.. I'm getting it.
乔治：（对自己）又涨了？真是夸张，我……我要买进。
ELAINE: You're getting what?
依莲：你要干什么？
GEORGE: A stock.
乔治：一支股票。
JERRY: What stock?
杰瑞：什么股票？
GEORGE: Did you ever meet my friend, Simons?
乔治：你见过我朋友嘛，西蒙斯？
JERRY: Maybe.
杰瑞：可能吧。
GOERGE: He knows this guy, Wilkinson. He made a fortune in the stock market. Now he's got some new thing - you know, there's supposed to be a big merger. He wasn't even supposed to say anything. You guys should think about doing this too.
乔治：他认识个家伙，威尔金森。他在股市里赚大发了。他现在有点新消息——将有一场大的兼并。他本来什么都不该提起的。你们也该跟我一起买。
JERRY: How high's it suppose to go?
杰瑞：这股票会涨到多高？
GEORGE: I don't know. But Simons said that if I wanted to get involved, that Wilkinson would tell me the exact right minute to sell. You wanna do it?
乔治：不知道，不过西蒙斯说过要是我想入伙，那个威尔金森会告诉我准确的卖出的时机，你们想做吗？
JERRY: Boy.. I don't know.
杰瑞：哦……我不知道。
ELAINE: I'd do it but I don't have any money.
依莲：我想做啊，不过我没钱。
JERRY: What kind of company is it?
杰瑞：那是个啥公司？
GEORGE: It's Sendrax. They've got some new kind of technique for televising opera.
乔治：叫森拽思。他们在整一种新技术，关于电视歌剧的。
ELAINE: Televising opera?
依莲：电视歌剧？
GEORGE: Some sort of electronic thingy.
乔治：什么电子化的东西吧。
JERRY: Well, how much are you going to invest?
杰瑞：那么，你要投多少钱？
GEORGE: (Unsure) Five thousand.. ten. Ten thousand.. Five thousand.
乔治：（不确定）5000……嗯……10000……5000.
JERRY: Boy..
杰瑞：哦……
GEORGE: C'mon. Wilkinson's got millions invested in this stock. It's gone up three points since I've been watching it.
乔治：威尔金森可是投了几百万下去的，我开始关注时它就已经涨了3个点了。
JERRY: What if I lose it?
杰瑞：要是我失败了咋办？
GEORGE: C'mon, go for twenty-five hundred. We'll do it together. Come on, come on. We're in it together.
乔治：得了吧，为了2500，我们一起做，加油，上吧，兄弟。我们一起。
JERRY: (gives in) All right -- twenty-five hundred.
杰瑞：（接受）好吧，2500.
GEORGE: That's it.
乔治：好嘞！
[Waitress arrives]
（服务生来）
WAITRESS: Yeah, can I take your order?
服务生：请问要点单了不？
GEORGE: (Gesturing to Jerry) Check the raiser.
乔治：（示意杰瑞）问有钱人点单。
JERRY: My bet? All right.. I'll open with a tuna sandwich.
杰瑞：我想要？好吧……先来个金枪鱼三明治。
ELAINE: Tuna?
依莲：金枪鱼？
JERRY: Oh, the dolphin thing?
杰瑞：哦，海豚事件？
ELAINE: They're dying in the nets.
依莲：它们死在网里。
JERRY: Ooohhh.. You know, the whole concept of lunch is based on tuna.
杰瑞：哦……你知道吗，午餐的全部意义就在这金枪鱼上面了。
ELAINE: Jerry, can't you incorporate one unselfish act in your daily routine?
依莲：杰瑞，你能在你全天的事件里面挑出一项不那么自私的来吗？
JERRY: Hey, when I'm driving, I let people in ahead of me all the time. I'm always waving everybody in. "Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead." ..Alright.. alright. I'll have a chicken salad.
杰瑞：嗨，我开车的时候，我让好多人超我车来着。我还向他们挥手呢，走吧、走吧……好吧，好吧，我换鸡肉沙拉好了。
ELAINE: And I'm going to have an English muffin with margarine on the side and a cup of coffee.
依莲：我要一份英式松饼，配黄油，一杯咖啡。
WAITRESS: Okay. (To George) What about you?
服务生：好的，（对乔治）您呢？
GEORGE: I'll have the tuna.
乔治：我要金枪鱼。
(Scene ends.)

[Setting: A Korean Market]
（场景：韩国式集市）
JERRY: I have to say. Those people talking behind us really ruined that movie for me.
杰瑞：我得说那些叽里咕噜的家伙让我都没心情看这电影。
VANESSA: Why didn't you do something?
凡妮莎：那你为什么不制止他们呢？
JERRY: What do you want me to do? I have the guy the half-turn. Then I have him the full-turn with the eye roll! I mean, beyond that, I'm risking a punch in the mouth.. (To a stock boy) Excuse me, do you have these in the puffs?
杰瑞：你指望我能做什么？（不知如何翻译）把那家伙转半圈，然后用眼神杀死他！可能会被扁的……（对游动摊贩）你们有酥饼不？
STOCK BOY: No puffs. Just flakes.
小卖男生：没有酥饼，只有爆米花。
JERRY: Have you thought any more about that trip?
杰瑞：你对我们的旅行计划有什么想法没？
VANESSA: Yeah, I've been thinking about it.
凡妮莎：当然，我可想了很多呢。
JERRY: You know, my friend told me about this great place in Vermont.
杰瑞：我朋友跟我提起过在弗蒙特的一个地方不错。
VANESSA: I don't know. I just worry about trips like this.. It's a lot of pressure.
凡妮莎：我不知道，我只是担心这次旅行会……压力太大。
JERRY: It's great! It speeds up the intimacy level. It's like putting the relationship in a time compressor. Where we would be six months from now we accomplish (snaps) three days.
杰瑞：怎么会，这很棒啊！这会加深我们的亲密程度。就好像把我们的关系放进时间压缩器，3天就能达到6个月的亲密程度了。
VANESSA: Oh, so you want to move our relationship into Phase Two..?
凡妮莎：哦，你是想要我们的关系进入到第二阶段咯？
JERRY: Exactly. I love Phase Two. Extra toothbrushes, increased call frequency, walking around naked.. You know, the presents get a lot better in Phase Two.
杰瑞：当然。我想要第二阶段。（为对方）多备一个牙刷，增加电话次数，一起裸身走路……你知道的，第二阶段的“奖品”要好很多哦。
VANESSA: (Starting to like the idea) Really? Could we go fishing up there?
凡妮莎：（开始喜欢这个点子）真的？我们能在那里钓鱼不？
JERRY: Yeah. We can fish. What? Blues, carp, marlin?
杰瑞：可以，我们去钓鱼，什么鲤鱼啊，枪鱼啊。
VANESSA: They have marlin in Vermont?
凡妮莎：弗蒙特那里有枪鱼？
JERRY: Oh, big fighting marlin.
杰瑞：哦，大只的枪鱼。
(Jerry picks up a paper)

VANESSA: Jerry, the stock is the same as when you checked it earlier. There are no changes after the market closes. The stock is still down.
凡妮莎：杰瑞，股市和你刚才看的时候一样。休市了，就不会有变化了。你那支股票还是下跌的。
JERRY: I know. But this is a different paper. I thought maybe they have, uh, different.. sources.
杰瑞：我知道，不过这是另一张报纸了，我想他们会有不同的消息来源。
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Jerry's apartment. Jerry's looking at a road map; Kramer is looking at the paper]
（场景：杰瑞住所，看着地图；克雷默看报纸）
JERRY: Is that my paper?
杰瑞：那是我的报纸吧？
KRAMER: Bad news, my friend.
克雷默：坏消息，朋友。
JERRY: What? What news?
杰瑞：什么？什么消息？
KRAMER: Sendrax.
克雷默：森拽思。
JERRY: Oh, c'mon! It's down again?!
杰瑞：哦，不是吧！又跌了？！
KRAMER: Two and a half points.
克雷默：2.5个点。
JERRY: Oh, I can't believe it. Let me see that. (Looks at the paper) That's four and a half points in three days! That's almost half my money!
杰瑞：哦，不敢相信。让我看看。3天内一共跌了4.5个点了！一半的钱没了！
KRAMER: Hey, I told ya.
克雷默：嗨，我告诉过你们的。
JERRY: (Sarcastic) Yeah, you told me.
杰瑞：（讽刺的）可不是嘛，你告诉我的。
KRAMER: It's all manipulated with junk bonds. You can't win.
克雷默：在一些垃圾债权的操纵下，你赢不了的。
JERRY: (Holding the phone, calling George) There's one thing I don't understand. Why does it please you? (Into phone) George Costanza, please.
杰瑞：（电话，找乔治）我有一点不明白。你有啥可高兴的？（电话中）找乔治.康斯坦扎。
KRAMER: Hey, I don't care. I'm just telling you to (yelling) get rid of that stock, now!
克雷默：嗨，我不在乎。我必须告诉你（吼）赶紧解套！现在！
JERRY: (Into phone) George, what's going on?!
杰瑞：（对电话）乔治，怎么啦？
KRAMER: Sell it, just say I'm selling!
克雷默：卖了它！就说我要卖了！
JERRY: (Into phone) Well, where is the guy?! Nothing? Almost half my money's gone.. Well, call me right back. (Hangs up) Nobody can reach Wilkinson. He hasn't been home or in his office in the past three days!
杰瑞：（对电话）好吧，那家伙在哪儿？没事？我一半的钱没了……好，待会给我电话。（挂断）没人找得到威尔金森，3天里面他既不在公司也不在家里。
KRAMER: You know, I can't believe you put your money in that Sendrax. And you could've invested in my roll-out tie dispenser.
克雷默：你居然把你的钱投到那个森拽思里面，还有你本来可以投资给我的自动售领带机的。
JERRY: Roll-out tie dispenser? What was that one?
杰瑞：自动领带机？这是什么？
KRAMER: Okay, you're in a restaurant. You've got a very big meeting coming up.
克雷默：嗯，想象一下你在餐馆，接下来你有一场大会要出席。
JERRY: Okay.
杰瑞：嗯。
KRAMER: You just (makes noise) tear it off, and you got a new one right here. Then you're gone.
克雷默：你只要扯下来，就有一条新的领带了。然后你就可以走了。
JERRY: You're gone alright.
杰瑞：真是“好”点子。
KRAMER: (Looking at map) Hey, where.. where are you going? You gonna take a trip? The map.. what..
克雷默：嗨，哪儿……你要去哪儿？你要去旅行？地图……
JERRY: Yeah, I'm going to Vermont with Vanessa for a few days.
杰瑞：是的，我要和凡妮莎一起去弗蒙特几天。
KRAMER: Hey, can I use your place? I got a bunch of friends coming over this weekend.
克雷默：嗨，我能住你那吗？我有些朋友周末要过来耍耍。
JERRY: What friends?
杰瑞：什么朋友？
KRAMER: Well, it's just some people I met at a rock concert.
克雷默：好吧，只是我在摇滚演唱会上认识的一些家伙。
(Phone rings)
（电话响起）
KRAMER: Do you mind if they use your bed? (Jerry give him a look) 'Cause they're really good people, Jerry. I'm telling you. You know, they're anarchists. They're.. they're.. they're.. huge.
克雷默：你介意人家睡你床上吗？（杰瑞瞪他）他们可是好人，杰瑞。你知道吗，他们是无政府主义者。他们……他们……都是巨汉。
(Jerry answers phone)
（杰瑞接电话）
JERRY: George.. what?! You're kidding.. Well, what's wrong?.. So, what are we gonna do?.. Great! Alright, I'll speak to you later. (Hangs up) Wilkinson, the guy who's supposed to tell us when to sell the stock, he's in the hospital.
杰瑞：乔治……什么？你开玩笑吧……好吧，什么情况？那，我们该怎么办？好极了！好吧，待会儿再说。（挂断）威尔金森，那个应该告诉我们何时抛售的家伙，在医院呢。
(Kramer has a pleased reaction on his face)
（克雷默满脸欣喜）
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Dry-Cleaning store; Jerry and George are in line]
（场景：干洗店；杰瑞、乔治在排队）
JERRY: So you don't know what's wrong with him?
杰瑞：你不知道他出什么事了吗？
GEORGE: All Simons was able to find out is that he's in the hospital.
乔治：西蒙斯只是知道威尔金森在医院而已。
JERRY: Okay, fine. Has Simons been in touch with him?
杰瑞：好吧，那西蒙斯和他联系过吗？
GEORGE: Of course he's been in touch with him. He's left two messages. He just hasn't heard back yet, that's all.
乔治：当然他们有联系。他留下两条信息。他还没有回复而已，就这些。
JERRY: Well, this is it. I'm selling.
杰瑞：好，就这样吧，我要卖出了。
GEORGE: Just give it a little more time.
乔治：再给它一次机会吧，等一会。
JERRY: I never should've gotten involved in this. I'm a nervous wreck. I"m not cut out for investing.
杰瑞：真不应该趟这滩浑水。我是个可怜的破产者。我天生不是投资的料。
GEORGE: Alright, alright. That's it. I'm gonna go down there.
乔治：好吧，好吧，就这样。我要去那里。
JERRY: Where?
杰瑞：哪里？
GEORGE: To the hospital.
乔治：医院呀。
JERRY: The hospital?
杰瑞：那间医院？！
GEORGE: I'm going to find out what's going on. Alright?
乔治：我要去找出答案，怎样？
JERRY: Are you nuts? You don't even know they guy.
杰瑞：你疯了不成？你根本不认识那家伙。
GEORGE: So what? I'll start talking to him, you know, casual, and I'll work my way around to it.
乔治：那又怎样？我会跟他说话，你知道嘛，先是随意的，然后迂回达到我的目的。
JERRY: What if he's in an iron lung or something? What are you gonna do? (knocking on glass) "How you feeling, Mr. Wilkinson? (makes hissing sound) By the way, what's happening with Sendrax?"
杰瑞：他要是戴着人工呼吸器之类的情况，你怎么办？（敲着杯子）你感觉怎样啊？威尔金森先生？顺便说一下，森拽思是什么情况啊？
GEORGE: Maybe he's resting.
乔治：也许他在休息呢。
JERRY: Who goes to the hospital to rest?
杰瑞：有谁跑到医院去休息？
GEORGE: What are you, a doctor?
乔治：你叫什么叫啊，你是医生吗？
JERRY: Okay, fine, fine. When are you going down there?
杰瑞：好，好吧，随你。你什么时候去那里？
GEORGE: Today. I'm going today. Just don't do anything until you hear from me.
乔治：今天。我今天就去。在我跟你联系之前，啥都不要做。
JERRY: Alright.
杰瑞：好吧。
(Jerry moves up in line, a woman takes his place. George didn't notice)
（杰瑞上前，一个女人占了他的位置，乔治没发现）
GEORGE: (To woman, thinking she's Jerry) Boy, I have to get to a bathroom.
乔治：（对那个女人，以为是杰瑞）天，我得去嘘嘘了。
(Woman gives him a look)
（女人瞪他）
DRY CLEANER: May I help you?
干洗店员：有啥事呀？
JERRY: Yeah. I picked up this shirt here yesterday. It's completely shrunk. There's absolutely no way I can wear it.
杰瑞：是的，我昨天在这取了件衬衫，缩水很厉害啊。我是不可能穿上了。
DRY CLEANER: When did you bring it in?
干洗店员：你什么时候送来的？
JERRY: What's the difference? Look at it! Do you see the size of this shirt?!
杰瑞：这有什么关系？看看这个！你看见这衣服的尺寸了没？！
DRY CLEANER: You got a receipt?
干洗店员：你有收据吗？
JERRY: I can't find the receipt.
杰瑞：我找不到收据了。
DRY CLEANER: You should get the receipt.
干洗店员：你得拿收据。
JERRY: Look, forget about the receipt, all right? Even if I had the receipt- look at it! It's a hand puppet. What am I gonna do with this?!
杰瑞：少来什么收据不收据的，好吗！就算我有收据，看看这个！这好像掌上玩偶穿的衣服，我该怎么办？！
DRY CLEANER: Yes, but how do I know we did the shirt?
干洗店员：是的，但是怎么判断是我们店洗的呢？
JERRY: What do you think this is a little scam I have? I take this tiny shirt all over the city conning dry cleaners out of money?! In fact, forget the money. I don't even want the money. I just once, I would like to hear a dry cleaner admit that something was their fault. That's what I want. I want an admission of guilt.
杰瑞：你以为我在这儿使诈不成？！我拿着这件微型衬衫跑遍全城的干洗店诓钱对吧？！那这样吧，钱就算了，我压根不想要那钱。我只是想，破天荒头一回，听一个干洗店员承认他们有错。这就是我想要的，我要你的有罪口供。
DRY CLEANER: Maybe you asked for it to be washed?
干洗店员：可能是你要求这样洗的呀？
JERRY: No.. dry-cleaned.
杰瑞：不……我要干洗！
DRY CLEANER: Let me explain to you something. Okay? With certain types of fabrics, different chemicals can react, causing..
干洗店员：我给您解释一下行不？不同的材料，不同的化学材料会产生……
JERRY: (Interrupting) You shrunk it! You know you shrunk it! Just tell me that you shrunk it!
杰瑞：（打断）你们缩小了它！你知道是你们缩小了我的衣服！你就TMD承认了吧！
DRY CLEANER: I shrunk it.
干洗店员：我缩小了它。
(Scene ends.)

[Setting: Night club]
（场景：俱乐部）
JERRY: I think the only reason we go to the dry cleaner is so I can say to the dry cleaner, "Well, it's ruined." And of course, the dry cleaner can respond, "It's not our fault. We're not responsible. We just ruin the clothes. That ends our legal obligation." You see, the whole problem with dry cleaning is that we all believe that this is actually possible. Right? They're cleaning our clothes - but they're not getting anything wet. It's all dry. I know there's gotta be some liquids back there, some fluids that they're using. There's no such thing as dry cleaning. When you get something on your shirt, ever get something on your shirt and try to get it off like that (brushes shirt) - that's dry cleaning. I don't think that's what they're doing back there. They don't have eighty guys going (with imaginary brush) "Come on, hurry up! There's a lot of shirts today."
杰瑞：我认为我们去干洗店的唯一原因无非是，我们可以去和干洗店员说：好吧，我的衣服可算是毁了。还有，当然店员会回答说：这不是我们的问题，我们不承担这个责任。我们就是毁了衣服了怎么样，我们不负法律责任。你看到了吧，干洗的问题就是我们居然都认为这是可能的！对吧？他们能洗干净我们的衣服——而且什么都不会湿。全是“干”的。我就知道总该有点液体遗留的，他们总会用点水吧。根本不存在所谓“干洗”这样的说法。当你衣服有点脏的时候，你想这样除去污渍（捋一下衣服）——这才是干洗。我相信他们可不是这么洗的吧。他们不可能雇80个人在那里这么“洗”——加油啊，赶紧的，今天有好多衣服要“洗”呢！

[Setting: Jerry's apartment]
（场景：杰瑞家，依莲喷嚏）
(Elaine sneezes)

JERRY: Bless you.
杰瑞：保佑你。
ELAINE: Thank you. What evidence is there that cats are so smart, anyway? Huh? What do they do? Because they're clean? I am sorry. My Uncle Pete showers four times a day and he can't count to ten. So don't give me hygiene.
依莲：谢谢。有什么证据证明猫是聪明的？啊？它们都做什么了？因为它们干净？不好意思，我彼得叔每天洗4次澡，可他都数到10都不会呢。所以“讲卫生”不是理由。
JERRY: So what are you gonna do?
杰瑞：那你想怎样？
ELAINE: I don't know. I can't think of any solution, unless of course they should meet with some unfortunate accident. What do you think a hit man would charge to rub out a couple of cats?
依莲：不知道，想不出啥办法，除非它们会突遭飞来横祸。你认为一个杀手处理掉几只猫要多少钱？
JERRY: Well, it couldn't be too expensive. Thirteen, fourteen bucks a cat?
杰瑞：嗯，不会太贵吧，13、4块钱一只猫？
ELAINE: What do you think, Jerry? You wanna make twenty-eight bucks?
依莲：你怎么看，杰瑞？你想赚28块钱不？
JERRY: I'm no cat killer.
杰瑞：我可不是杀猫人。
ELAINE: How about we go over there right now and we shave them?
依莲：我们现在就过去处理掉它们怎么样？
JERRY: I'd really like to go, Elaine. But, George is coming back from the hospital. I gotta wait for him. But otherwise I would definitely go.
杰瑞：我想去的，依莲。但是，乔治要从医院回来，我要等他，不然我肯定去。
ELAINE: He actually wen to the hospital?
依莲：他还真去了医院啊？
JERRY: Yeah.
杰瑞：是啊。
ELAINE: Oh man, he's nuts.
依莲：哦，天，他真是小笨笨。
JERRY: Yeah, he's nuts. You wanta bump off a couple of cats. (Enter Kramer, holding a paper) I know, I know. It's down again.
杰瑞：是啊，他是傻子。你想不想撞上一些猫。（克雷默进，拿着报纸）我知道，我知道，又下跌了是吧？
KRAMER: How much are you down altogether?
克雷默：你一共跌了多少？
JERRY: I don't know.. fifteen hundred dollars.
杰瑞：不知道……1500？
KRAMER: Wow.
克雷默：哇靠！
JERRY: You don't have to say "Wow." I know it's "Wow." And there's that smile again. Well, what is that?
杰瑞：你不需要说“哇靠”吧，我知道这很夸张，又来那种笑容了，啥意思你？
(Intercom buzzes)
（门铃响）
JERRY: It's George. (Presses button to let George in.)
杰瑞：是乔治。
(Elaine goes into the bathroom; kramer picks up some binoculars and looks ou the window)
（依莲进洗手间，克雷默用望远镜看窗外）
KRAMER: Oh, look at this one by the bus stop. Jerry, come here. Take a look at this.
克雷默：哦，看看那个在汽车站的人，杰瑞，过来，就看一眼。
JERRY: I really don't need to look.
杰瑞：我不需要看。
KRAMER: What a body. Yeeaahh.. that's for me.
克雷默：身材不错啊，耶……她归我了。
JERRY: Yeah, and you're just what she's looking for too - a stranger leering through a pair of binoculars ten floors up.
杰瑞：是啊，你也刚好是她想要的人——一个在10楼用望远镜偷窥的陌生人。
KRAMER: I'm gonna go down there and try and talk to her. (leaves)
克雷默：我要下去和她搭讪。
(Enter George; he flops onto the couch)
（乔治进，坐沙发）
JERRY: What? What? Did you go down there? (George nods) Did he tell you what's gonna happen? (George shakes his head "no".) How long were you there?
杰瑞：怎么啦？你去过医院了？（乔治点头）他告诉你啥情况了没？（乔治摇头）你在那里呆了多久？
GEORGE: Fifteen seconds.
乔治：15秒。
JERRY: You told him you knew Simons?
杰瑞：你告诉他你认识西蒙斯了？
GEORGE: Yeah, I mentioned Simons. Next thing I know - I'm in the parking lot. Perhaps they had some sort of a falling out. I'll tell you one thing.. I don't know what he's got. But for a sick guy, he's very strong.
乔治：是，我提到过西蒙斯，接下来就是——我在停车场了。他们大概是吵架了。告诉你吧，我是不知道他得什么病了。但是作为一个病人，他可真够壮的。
(Elaine exits bathroom)
（依莲离开洗手间）
JERRY: Well, that's it. Look, I'm going to Vermont. I don't want to think about this. I'm selling.
杰瑞：好吧，就这样吧。我要去弗蒙特了，不要再去想这事了，我要抛售了。
ELAINE: Didn't work, huh?
依莲：没起作用，是吧？
GEORGE: (Laughs) Not quite.
乔治：（大笑）是没用。
ELAINE: Well, what are you gonna do about the stock?
依莲：好吧，你要怎么处理股票？
GEORGE: I'm keeping it. I'm going down with the ship.
乔治：我要保留，我要与股票共存亡。
(Scene ends.)

[Setting: Country Inn]
（场景：乡村旅馆）
JERRY: So I know this guy. I'm getting all my sneakers at a discount now.
杰瑞：我认识一个家伙。我要把我的跑鞋都打折卖了。
VANESSA: I know. You mentioned it.
凡妮莎：我晓得，你提起过。
JERRY: Oh yeah, right. (To himself) Oh God. Get me out of here. What a mistake. What made me think this would work? And I've still got another day! I've got nothing left to say. Wait.. wait.. got one. (To Vanessa) That's a nice watch. Do you wind it?
杰瑞：哦，好吧。（自言自语）神啊，让我离开这里吧，这真是个错误。居然会相信这样会有效。还有一天要过！我已经没有话好说了。等……等等……有一个了。（对凡妮莎）手表真不错啊，是上发条的吗？
VANESSA: No, it's got a little battery.
凡妮莎：不，用电池的。
JERRY: Well, that's good. (To himself) Well, the drive home should be a delight. I'm speeding the whole way. Let them throw me in jail. I don't care. (To Vanessa) That' the manager? Do you wnat me to see if we can get another room?
杰瑞：哦，不错，很好。（自言自语）好了，回家的路一定很开心。我要马力全开。把我关到牢里好了。我都无所谓。（对凡妮莎）那是经理吗？要不要我去说说看能不能给我们再开一间房？
VANESSA: No, it's okay.
凡妮莎：不用了，这样就行。
JERRY: So, I guess you don't find the separate faucets for the hot and cold - charming?
杰瑞：那么，我想你不觉得单独的冷热水龙头没啥了不起的？
VANESSA: Not especially.
凡妮莎：没啥特别。
JERRY: Well, what do you wnat to do this afternoon?
杰瑞：哦，下午你想干啥？
VANESSA: What can we do? It's raining.
凡妮莎：我们能做什么？下雨呢。
JERRY: We cold play "Sorry!" We cold play "Steal the Old Man's Bundle." (To himself) Maybe I can get an extension cord and hang myself. (To Vanessa) What kind of perfume is that you're wearing?
杰瑞：我们可以玩“对不起”游戏，或者“偷那老头的包袱”的游戏。（自言自语）或者我去拿条绳子，上吊得了。（对凡妮莎）你用啥香水？
VANESSA: Oh, you've never heard of it.
凡妮莎：哦，你肯定没听说过的。
JERRY: No, what? What kind is it?
杰瑞：不会吧，是啥？到底是什么？
VANESSA: I can't tell you.
凡妮莎：不能告诉你。
JERRY: (To himself) Yeah, that's normal. (Out loud, to a man nearby) Excuse me, Sir. Could I have a look at that business section?
杰瑞：（自言自语）是啊，很正常。（大声的对旁边的人）不好意思，先生，我能看看（报纸）商业版吗？
VANESSA: That stock? I thought you got out of that?
凡妮莎：又是那股票？我以为你已经卖出了呢。
JERRY: I did. I'm just curious. It's been almost a week. I want to check it out. (finds stock) Six points. It's up six points!
杰瑞：是啊，我只是好奇，都过去一个礼拜了，我想看看。（查找股票）6点！它涨了6个点了！
VANESSA: I told you not to sell.
凡妮莎：我告诉你别卖的。
JERRY: You did not tell me not to sell.
杰瑞：你没有说要我别卖啊。
VANESSA: I said, the market fluctuates. Remember?
凡妮莎：我说的，市场波动，不记得了？
JERRY: Look, Vanessa, of course the market fluctuates. Everybody knows that. I just got fluctuated out of four thousand dollars!
杰瑞：听着，凡妮莎，市场当然是波动啦。谁TMD不知道。我只是被“波动”走了4000美金！
VANESSA: That's probably why.. (stops herself)
凡妮莎：那可能是因为……（停了）
JERRY: What?
杰瑞：什么？
VANESSA: Forget it.
凡妮莎：算了。
JERRY: No, what? 'That's probably why..'
杰瑞：不，什么？“那可能是……”
VANESSA: That's probably why we're staying here, because you lost money on the stock.
凡妮莎：因为你在股票赔钱了，所以我们才在这里呀。
JERRY: (To himself) So, what am I looking at here? Twenty=nine hours to go. Well, at least I got plenty of time to find out the name of that purfume..
杰瑞：（自言自语）那么，我们在这里干嘛。还有29小时，好吧，至少我有足够的事件找出香水的名字。
(Scene ends.)

[Setting: Coffee shop]
（场景：咖啡馆）
GEORGE: Have something else. C'mon, have a little dessert?
乔治：再点点啥呗。来吧，再要点甜点？
JERRY: I'm good, thanks.
杰瑞：够了，谢谢。
GEORGE: Elaine, get something! It's all taken care of.
乔治：依莲，再要点啥！我买单。
ELAINE: I'm kinda full.
依莲：我差不多饱了。
GEORGE: So don't finish it.
乔治：用不着吃完。
JERRY: (acidly) She's full. (George puts up his hands in an "excuse me" gesture.) So, Big daddy. I'm just curious. How much did you clear on your little trasaction there? All told?
杰瑞：（酸酸的）她饱了。（乔治作出“不好意思”的手势）那么，老大哥，我只是好奇，你到底赚了多少啊？
GEORGE: I don't like to discuss figures.
乔治：我不想讨论具体数字。
JERRY: How much?
杰瑞：多少钱？
GEORGE: I don't know, what? Eight thousand. It's a Hyundai. Get out of here.. I told you not to sell. Simons made money, Wilkinson cleaned up.
乔治：不知道，什么？8000.一辆车车。少来了……我跟你说别卖了，西蒙斯赚钱了，威尔金森扫尾。
JERRY: So, Wilkinson's out of the hospital now?
杰瑞：那么，威尔金森出院了？
GEORGE: No. You'd be surprised. You don't recover that quickly from a nose job.
乔治：不，你会很惊讶的。鼻子破了没那么快恢复。
(Elaine sneezes)
（依莲喷嚏）
JERRY: Is taht still from the cats?
杰瑞：还是因为猫过敏？
ELAINE: No, I just have a cold.
依莲：不，我只是感冒了。
JERRY: So, what ever happened with that?
杰瑞：那么，发生什么了吗？
ELAINE: I gave him an ultimatum. (Shrugs)
依莲：我给他最后通牒了。（耸肩）
GEORGE: He chose the cats?
乔治：他选择猫而不是你？
ELAINE: They're very clean animals.
依莲：它们可是非常干净的小动物。
JERRY: I gotta say, that's pretty sad. Losing out to a cat.
杰瑞：不得不说，真是悲哀啊。输给一只猫。
ELAINE: Almost as bad as losing out to a perfume.
依莲：就跟输给一支香水差不多。
GEORGE: I told you those trips were relationship killers. Too bad you can't get your buddy Superman to fly around the Earth at super speed and reverse time.You'd get all the money back - you could have avoided the whole trip to Vermont.
乔治：我跟你说过旅行是恋情的杀手。真遗憾你不像超人兄弟那样可以飞速的绕地球转或者逆转时空。你就能找回失去的钱了——还能避免弗蒙特之旅。
ELAINE: Superman can go back in time?
依莲：超人能回到过去？
JERRY: We went over that.
杰瑞：你信他的。
GEORGE: Wilkinson's got a bite on a new one.. Petramco Corp. Out of, hu, Springfield. I think. They're about to introduce some sort of robot butcher.
乔治：威尔金森又有新消息了……佩特拉科公司。他们要做一些机器屠夫。
JERRY: A robot butcher?
杰瑞：机器屠夫？
GOERGE: Shhhhh. If you want to get in - there's very little time. (Calling to waitress) Sweetheart.. (Waitress tears of check, George stops her) No, no, no. That' ought to coever it. (He hands her some money, she turns to leave, George stops her) Just a second..  Just a.. let me.. (looks at the check, then take some money out of her hand.) (Urging Jerry and Elaine to eat) Come on, come on, come on..
乔治：嘘……你想入伙吗？时间不多了哦。（叫服务生）亲爱的……（服务生扯下账单，乔治喊她）不，不，应该够了吧。（给她钱，她走了，乔治又喊停她）等一会……就……让我……（看看账单，又从她手里拿走一些钱）（催促杰瑞、依莲赶紧吃）快点……快……
(Scene ends.)

[Setting: Night club]
（场景：俱乐部）
JERRY: I'm not an investor. People always tell me, you should have your money working for you. I've decided I'll do the work. I'm gonna let the money relax. You know what I mean? 'Cause you send your money out there - working for you - a lot of times, it gets fired. You go back there, "What happened? I had my money. It was here, it was working for me." "Yeah, I remember your money. Showing up late. Taking time off. We had to let him go."
杰瑞：我不是什么投资者。人们总是跟我说，你得让钱为你工作。我决定不这么做，我想让我的钱“休息”。懂我的意思不？因为你把你的钱派出去——让它们为你工作——很多次，它会被“辞退”的！你到那里，“发生什么了？我的钱呢，不是在那里的嘛，不是在为我工作嘛”。（回答说）“是啊，我记得你的钱，天天迟到早退的，我们不得不辞退它了。”