自己庆祝一下，做完第一季了！

1990年6月21日
第一季第五集
股市消息

Plot summary for "Seinfeld" The Stock Tip
Jerry becomes apprehensive when he and George buy stock and the price falls while the person who suggested the stock is in a coma and can't tell them when to sell.

情节概要：
杰瑞和乔治买了股票，股市下跌，内部人士告知股市在震荡中不能告诉他们什么时候能抛售，杰瑞开始担忧。

[Setting: Nightclub]
（场景：俱乐部）
JERRY: Went out to dinner the other night. Check came at the end of the meal, as it always does. Never liked the check at the end of the meal system, because money's a very different thing before and after you eat. Before you eat money has no value. And you don't care about money when you're hungry, you sit down at a restaurant. You're like the ruler of an empire. "More drinks, appetizers, quickly, quickly! It will be the greatest meal of our lives." Then after the meal, you know, you've got the pants open, you've got the napkins destroyed, cigarette butt in the mashed potatoes - then the check comes at that moment. People are always upset, you know. They're mystified by the check. "What is this? How could this be?" They start passing it around the table, "Does this look right to you? We're not hungry now. Why are we buying all this food?!"
杰瑞：一天晚上我出去吃饭。吃完了，账单上来了。我很不喜欢吃完后付这样的程式，因为饭前还是饭后钱的意义很不一样。在你吃之前，钞票一点价值都没有，你饿的时候根本不关心钱的问题，你坐在一个餐馆，就像帝国的统治者一样。“再来点饮料！开胃菜！快点！快点！这将是我生命中一顿伟大的饭。”然后吃完饭了，你知道的，你的裤子撑大了，你摧毁了一些纸巾，你把烟蒂熄灭在土豆泥里——正当此时，账单上来了。人们此时往往很不安，对账单表示很迷惑。“这是什么？怎么会这样？”开始在餐桌上传阅，“这账单对不对啊？我们现在不饿了，我们为什么买这么多吃的啊？！”
[Setting: Coffee Shop]
（场景：咖啡馆）
JERRY: I think Superman probably has a very good sense of humor.
杰瑞：我认为超人有很强的幽默感。
GEORGE: I never heard him say anything really funny.
乔治：我从来没听过他说过什么搞笑的。
JERRY: But it's common sense. He's got super strength, super speed.. I'm sure he's got super humor.
杰瑞：可这是常识啊，你想啊，他有超级的体力，超级的速度……我确信他有超级的幽默感。
GEORGE: You would think that, but either you're born with a sense of humor, or you're not. It's not going to change even if you go from the red sun of Krypton all the way to the yellow sun of the Earth.
乔治：只是你的想法罢了，除非你生来就有幽默感，不然的话，就算你从氪星球一路走到地球来也不见得会培养出幽默感。
JERRY: Why? Why would that one area of his mind not be affected by the yellow sun of Earth?
杰瑞：为什么？为什么他意识中的那部分不会被太阳影响？
GEORGE: I don't know but he ain't funny.
乔治：我不知道但是他不好玩。
(Elaine joins them, they check their watches.)
（依莲过来，对表）
ELAINE: I know, I know. I'm sorry I'm late.
依莲：了解，了解，不好意思我迟了。
JERRY: No problem.
杰瑞：没问题。
ELAINE: I dropped a grape.
依莲：我掉了一颗葡萄。
GEORGE: Pardon?
乔治：什么？
ELAINE: I dropped a grape in the kitchen and it disappeared. I couldn't find it. I was... I was literally on my knees for ten minutes looking for this stupid grape. I have no idea where it went.
依莲：我在厨房掉了一颗葡萄，消失了，我找不到了。我蹲在地上足足有10分钟，找那颗该死的葡萄，我不知道它上哪儿去了。
JERRY: Were you crying? I mean, it's just a grape. You'll find it.
杰瑞：你哭了嘛？我是说，这只是颗葡萄嘛，你会找到的。
ELAINE: No, I'm just getting over an allergy attack. This guy I'm going out with -
依莲：不，我刚刚经受了过敏的袭击，那个和我约会的家伙……
JERRY: Robert.
杰瑞：罗伯特。
ELAINE: Robert. Yes.. thank you. He has two cats and I'm allergic to them. You know, I finally meet a normal man, and I can't even go into his apartment, you know. And, of course, my apartment is the actor's studio so we can't go there. It's really causing a lot of problems, you know. He won't even go away fro the weekend because of these cats.
依莲：罗伯特，是的……谢谢。他有两只猫，我对猫过敏。我好不容易找到个正常的男人，可我却进不了他的家门……还有，我的小窝现在是演艺人员之家，所以我们也不能到那儿。这真是个大麻烦，为了这些猫，他在周末都不能外出。
GEORGE: Guys with cats.. I don't know.
乔治：猫猫男……我是搞不懂。
JERRY: I've been thinking about asking this girl I'm, uh, seeing -
杰瑞：我在打算叫那个女的……
ELAINE: Vanessa.
依莲：凡妮莎。
JERRY: Vanessa, thank you.. I've been thinking about asking her to go away for a couple of days.
杰瑞：凡妮莎，谢谢……我想约她一起出去玩几天。
GEORGE: Oh no. No, no,no,no,no. I'd have to advise against that. What do you know this woman, a month? Let's see, you're going to be with her seventy-two hours. That's a dating decathlon.
乔治：哦，不，不，不。我不是想扫你的兴。你对这个女的了解多少，认识一个月了？让我说啊，你要是和她呆足72小时，就像是一场十项全能比赛一样。
ELAINE: (balancing a spoon on her nose) Hey, why don't you take her to that place in Vermont I was telling you about? You know, that really charming place with the separate faucets for the hot and cold. She'll love it.
依莲：嗨，你不如带她去我说的那个在弗蒙特的去处？你知道嘛，那地方真是迷人极了，水龙头还分热水和冷水呢，她一定会爱死那里的。
GEORGE: (To Elaine) That's exquisite. Listen, uh, if it's not too much trouble, could you pass me that paper over there?
乔治：（对依莲）很别致呀，听着，嗯，行个好，帮我把那张报纸给我。
(Elaine gets the paper, he starts flipping through it.)
（依莲拿来报纸，乔治开始看）
JERRY: You better find that grape before it mutates into another life form. (Elaine laughs) There was once a mutant grape that terrorized an entire town in the Texas panhandle. They brought in the army, nobody could stop it. Apparently it had a pit of steel.
杰瑞：你最好趁那个葡萄还没有进入来世之前找到它。（依莲笑）曾经有过一次，一颗变异的葡萄让整个德州的一个小镇陷入恐慌。他们把它带到军队，没人能制止它，它好像穿了钢盔了。
GEORGE: (To himself) Up again?! This is incredible. I'm.. I'm getting it.
乔治：（对自己）又涨了？真是夸张，我……我要买进。
ELAINE: You're getting what?
依莲：你要干什么？
GEORGE: A stock.
乔治：一支股票。
JERRY: What stock?
杰瑞：什么股票？
GEORGE: Did you ever meet my friend, Simons?
乔治：你见过我朋友嘛，西蒙斯？
JERRY: Maybe.
杰瑞：可能吧。
GOERGE: He knows this guy, Wilkinson. He made a fortune in the stock market. Now he's got some new thing - you know, there's supposed to be a big merger. He wasn't even supposed to say anything. You guys should think about doing this too.
乔治：他认识个家伙，威尔金森。他在股市里赚大发了。他现在有点新消息——将有一场大的兼并。他本来什么都不该提起的。你们也该跟我一起买。
JERRY: How high's it suppose to go?
杰瑞：这股票会涨到多高？
GEORGE: I don't know. But Simons said that if I wanted to get involved, that Wilkinson would tell me the exact right minute to sell. You wanna do it?
乔治：不知道，不过西蒙斯说过要是我想入伙，那个威尔金森会告诉我准确的卖出的时机，你们想做吗？
JERRY: Boy.. I don't know.
杰瑞：哦……我不知道。
ELAINE: I'd do it but I don't have any money.
依莲：我想做啊，不过我没钱。
JERRY: What kind of company is it?
杰瑞：那是个啥公司？
GEORGE: It's Sendrax. They've got some new kind of technique for televising opera.
乔治：叫森拽思。他们在整一种新技术，关于电视歌剧的。
ELAINE: Televising opera?
依莲：电视歌剧？
GEORGE: Some sort of electronic thingy.
乔治：什么电子化的东西吧。
JERRY: Well, how much are you going to invest?
杰瑞：那么，你要投多少钱？
GEORGE: (Unsure) Five thousand.. ten. Ten thousand.. Five thousand.
乔治：（不确定）5000……嗯……10000……5000.
JERRY: Boy..
杰瑞：哦……
GEORGE: C'mon. Wilkinson's got millions invested in this stock. It's gone up three points since I've been watching it.
乔治：威尔金森可是投了几百万下去的，我开始关注时它就已经涨了3个点了。
JERRY: What if I lose it?
杰瑞：要是我失败了咋办？
GEORGE: C'mon, go for twenty-five hundred. We'll do it together. Come on, come on. We're in it together.
乔治：得了吧，为了2500，我们一起做，加油，上吧，兄弟。我们一起。
JERRY: (gives in) All right -- twenty-five hundred.
杰瑞：（接受）好吧，2500.
GEORGE: That's it.
乔治：好嘞！
[Waitress arrives]
（服务生来）
WAITRESS: Yeah, can I take your order?
服务生：请问要点单了不？
GEORGE: (Gesturing to Jerry) Check the raiser.
乔治：（示意杰瑞）问有钱人点单。
JERRY: My bet? All right.. I'll open with a tuna sandwich.
杰瑞：我想要？好吧……先来个金枪鱼三明治。
ELAINE: Tuna?
依莲：金枪鱼？
JERRY: Oh, the dolphin thing?
杰瑞：哦，海豚事件？
ELAINE: They're dying in the nets.
依莲：它们死在网里。
JERRY: Ooohhh.. You know, the whole concept of lunch is based on tuna.
杰瑞：哦……你知道吗，午餐的全部意义就在这金枪鱼上面了。
ELAINE: Jerry, can't you incorporate one unselfish act in your daily routine?
依莲：杰瑞，你能在你全天的事件里面挑出一项不那么自私的来吗？
JERRY: Hey, when I'm driving, I let people in ahead of me all the time. I'm always waving everybody in. "Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead." ..Alright.. alright. I'll have a chicken salad.
杰瑞：嗨，我开车的时候，我让好多人超我车来着。我还向他们挥手呢，走吧、走吧……好吧，好吧，我换鸡肉沙拉好了。
ELAINE: And I'm going to have an English muffin with margarine on the side and a cup of coffee.
依莲：我要一份英式松饼，配黄油，一杯咖啡。
WAITRESS: Okay. (To George) What about you?
服务生：好的，（对乔治）您呢？
GEORGE: I'll have the tuna.
乔治：我要金枪鱼。
(Scene ends.)

[Setting: A Korean Market]
（场景：韩国式集市）
JERRY: I have to say. Those people talking behind us really ruined that movie for me.
杰瑞：我得说那些叽里咕噜的家伙让我都没心情看这电影。
VANESSA: Why didn't you do something?
凡妮莎：那你为什么不制止他们呢？
JERRY: What do you want me to do? I have the guy the half-turn. Then I have him the full-turn with the eye roll! I mean, beyond that, I'm risking a punch in the mouth.. (To a stock boy) Excuse me, do you have these in the puffs?
杰瑞：你指望我能做什么？（不知如何翻译）把那家伙转半圈，然后用眼神杀死他！可能会被扁的……（对游动摊贩）你们有酥饼不？
STOCK BOY: No puffs. Just flakes.
小卖男生：没有酥饼，只有爆米花。
JERRY: Have you thought any more about that trip?
杰瑞：你对我们的旅行计划有什么想法没？
VANESSA: Yeah, I've been thinking about it.
凡妮莎：当然，我可想了很多呢。
JERRY: You know, my friend told me about this great place in Vermont.
杰瑞：我朋友跟我提起过在弗蒙特的一个地方不错。
VANESSA: I don't know. I just worry about trips like this.. It's a lot of pressure.
凡妮莎：我不知道，我只是担心这次旅行会……压力太大。
JERRY: It's great! It speeds up the intimacy level. It's like putting the relationship in a time compressor. Where we would be six months from now we accomplish (snaps) three days.
杰瑞：怎么会，这很棒啊！这会加深我们的亲密程度。就好像把我们的关系放进时间压缩器，3天就能达到6个月的亲密程度了。
VANESSA: Oh, so you want to move our relationship into Phase Two..?
凡妮莎：哦，你是想要我们的关系进入到第二阶段咯？
JERRY: Exactly. I love Phase Two. Extra toothbrushes, increased call frequency, walking around naked.. You know, the presents get a lot better in Phase Two.
杰瑞：当然。我想要第二阶段。（为对方）多备一个牙刷，增加电话次数，一起裸身走路……你知道的，第二阶段的“奖品”要好很多哦。
VANESSA: (Starting to like the idea) Really? Could we go fishing up there?
凡妮莎：（开始喜欢这个点子）真的？我们能在那里钓鱼不？
JERRY: Yeah. We can fish. What? Blues, carp, marlin?
杰瑞：可以，我们去钓鱼，什么鲤鱼啊，枪鱼啊。
VANESSA: They have marlin in Vermont?
凡妮莎：弗蒙特那里有枪鱼？
JERRY: Oh, big fighting marlin.
杰瑞：哦，大只的枪鱼。
(Jerry picks up a paper)

VANESSA: Jerry, the stock is the same as when you checked it earlier. There are no changes after the market closes. The stock is still down.
凡妮莎：杰瑞，股市和你刚才看的时候一样。休市了，就不会有变化了。你那支股票还是下跌的。
JERRY: I know. But this is a different paper. I thought maybe they have, uh, different.. sources.
杰瑞：我知道，不过这是另一张报纸了，我想他们会有不同的消息来源。
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Jerry's apartment. Jerry's looking at a road map; Kramer is looking at the paper]
（场景：杰瑞住所，看着地图；克雷默看报纸）
JERRY: Is that my paper?
杰瑞：那是我的报纸吧？
KRAMER: Bad news, my friend.
克雷默：坏消息，朋友。
JERRY: What? What news?
杰瑞：什么？什么消息？
KRAMER: Sendrax.
克雷默：森拽思。
JERRY: Oh, c'mon! It's down again?!
杰瑞：哦，不是吧！又跌了？！
KRAMER: Two and a half points.
克雷默：2.5个点。
JERRY: Oh, I can't believe it. Let me see that. (Looks at the paper) That's four and a half points in three days! That's almost half my money!
杰瑞：哦，不敢相信。让我看看。3天内一共跌了4.5个点了！一半的钱没了！
KRAMER: Hey, I told ya.
克雷默：嗨，我告诉过你们的。
JERRY: (Sarcastic) Yeah, you told me.
杰瑞：（讽刺的）可不是嘛，你告诉我的。
KRAMER: It's all manipulated with junk bonds. You can't win.
克雷默：在一些垃圾债权的操纵下，你赢不了的。
JERRY: (Holding the phone, calling George) There's one thing I don't understand. Why does it please you? (Into phone) George Costanza, please.
杰瑞：（电话，找乔治）我有一点不明白。你有啥可高兴的？（电话中）找乔治.康斯坦扎。
KRAMER: Hey, I don't care. I'm just telling you to (yelling) get rid of that stock, now!
克雷默：嗨，我不在乎。我必须告诉你（吼）赶紧解套！现在！
JERRY: (Into phone) George, what's going on?!
杰瑞：（对电话）乔治，怎么啦？
KRAMER: Sell it, just say I'm selling!
克雷默：卖了它！就说我要卖了！
JERRY: (Into phone) Well, where is the guy?! Nothing? Almost half my money's gone.. Well, call me right back. (Hangs up) Nobody can reach Wilkinson. He hasn't been home or in his office in the past three days!
杰瑞：（对电话）好吧，那家伙在哪儿？没事？我一半的钱没了……好，待会给我电话。（挂断）没人找得到威尔金森，3天里面他既不在公司也不在家里。
KRAMER: You know, I can't believe you put your money in that Sendrax. And you could've invested in my roll-out tie dispenser.
克雷默：你居然把你的钱投到那个森拽思里面，还有你本来可以投资给我的自动售领带机的。
JERRY: Roll-out tie dispenser? What was that one?
杰瑞：自动领带机？这是什么？
KRAMER: Okay, you're in a restaurant. You've got a very big meeting coming up.
克雷默：嗯，想象一下你在餐馆，接下来你有一场大会要出席。
JERRY: Okay.
杰瑞：嗯。
KRAMER: You just (makes noise) tear it off, and you got a new one right here. Then you're gone.
克雷默：你只要扯下来，就有一条新的领带了。然后你就可以走了。
JERRY: You're gone alright.
杰瑞：真是“好”点子。
KRAMER: (Looking at map) Hey, where.. where are you going? You gonna take a trip? The map.. what..
克雷默：嗨，哪儿……你要去哪儿？你要去旅行？地图……
JERRY: Yeah, I'm going to Vermont with Vanessa for a few days.
杰瑞：是的，我要和凡妮莎一起去弗蒙特几天。
KRAMER: Hey, can I use your place? I got a bunch of friends coming over this weekend.
克雷默：嗨，我能住你那吗？我有些朋友周末要过来耍耍。
JERRY: What friends?
杰瑞：什么朋友？
KRAMER: Well, it's just some people I met at a rock concert.
克雷默：好吧，只是我在摇滚演唱会上认识的一些家伙。
(Phone rings)
（电话响起）
KRAMER: Do you mind if they use your bed? (Jerry give him a look) 'Cause they're really good people, Jerry. I'm telling you. You know, they're anarchists. They're.. they're.. they're.. huge.
克雷默：你介意人家睡你床上吗？（杰瑞瞪他）他们可是好人，杰瑞。你知道吗，他们是无政府主义者。他们……他们……都是巨汉。
(Jerry answers phone)
（杰瑞接电话）
JERRY: George.. what?! You're kidding.. Well, what's wrong?.. So, what are we gonna do?.. Great! Alright, I'll speak to you later. (Hangs up) Wilkinson, the guy who's supposed to tell us when to sell the stock, he's in the hospital.
杰瑞：乔治……什么？你开玩笑吧……好吧，什么情况？那，我们该怎么办？好极了！好吧，待会儿再说。（挂断）威尔金森，那个应该告诉我们何时抛售的家伙，在医院呢。
(Kramer has a pleased reaction on his face)
（克雷默满脸欣喜）
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Dry-Cleaning store; Jerry and George are in line]
（场景：干洗店；杰瑞、乔治在排队）
JERRY: So you don't know what's wrong with him?
杰瑞：你不知道他出什么事了吗？
GEORGE: All Simons was able to find out is that he's in the hospital.
乔治：西蒙斯只是知道威尔金森在医院而已。
JERRY: Okay, fine. Has Simons been in touch with him?
杰瑞：好吧，那西蒙斯和他联系过吗？
GEORGE: Of course he's been in touch with him. He's left two messages. He just hasn't heard back yet, that's all.
乔治：当然他们有联系。他留下两条信息。他还没有回复而已，就这些。
JERRY: Well, this is it. I'm selling.
杰瑞：好，就这样吧，我要卖出了。
GEORGE: Just give it a little more time.
乔治：再给它一次机会吧，等一会。
JERRY: I never should've gotten involved in this. I'm a nervous wreck. I"m not cut out for investing.
杰瑞：真不应该趟这滩浑水。我是个可怜的破产者。我天生不是投资的料。
GEORGE: Alright, alright. That's it. I'm gonna go down there.
乔治：好吧，好吧，就这样。我要去那里。
JERRY: Where?
杰瑞：哪里？
GEORGE: To the hospital.
乔治：医院呀。
JERRY: The hospital?
杰瑞：那间医院？！
GEORGE: I'm going to find out what's going on. Alright?
乔治：我要去找出答案，怎样？
JERRY: Are you nuts? You don't even know they guy.
杰瑞：你疯了不成？你根本不认识那家伙。
GEORGE: So what? I'll start talking to him, you know, casual, and I'll work my way around to it.
乔治：那又怎样？我会跟他说话，你知道嘛，先是随意的，然后迂回达到我的目的。
JERRY: What if he's in an iron lung or something? What are you gonna do? (knocking on glass) "How you feeling, Mr. Wilkinson? (makes hissing sound) By the way, what's happening with Sendrax?"
杰瑞：他要是戴着人工呼吸器之类的情况，你怎么办？（敲着杯子）你感觉怎样啊？威尔金森先生？顺便说一下，森拽思是什么情况啊？
GEORGE: Maybe he's resting.
乔治：也许他在休息呢。
JERRY: Who goes to the hospital to rest?
杰瑞：有谁跑到医院去休息？
GEORGE: What are you, a doctor?
乔治：你叫什么叫啊，你是医生吗？
JERRY: Okay, fine, fine. When are you going down there?
杰瑞：好，好吧，随你。你什么时候去那里？
GEORGE: Today. I'm going today. Just don't do anything until you hear from me.
乔治：今天。我今天就去。在我跟你联系之前，啥都不要做。
JERRY: Alright.
杰瑞：好吧。
(Jerry moves up in line, a woman takes his place. George didn't notice)
（杰瑞上前，一个女人占了他的位置，乔治没发现）
GEORGE: (To woman, thinking she's Jerry) Boy, I have to get to a bathroom.
乔治：（对那个女人，以为是杰瑞）天，我得去嘘嘘了。
(Woman gives him a look)
（女人瞪他）
DRY CLEANER: May I help you?
干洗店员：有啥事呀？
JERRY: Yeah. I picked up this shirt here yesterday. It's completely shrunk. There's absolutely no way I can wear it.
杰瑞：是的，我昨天在这取了件衬衫，缩水很厉害啊。我是不可能穿上了。
DRY CLEANER: When did you bring it in?
干洗店员：你什么时候送来的？
JERRY: What's the difference? Look at it! Do you see the size of this shirt?!
杰瑞：这有什么关系？看看这个！你看见这衣服的尺寸了没？！
DRY CLEANER: You got a receipt?
干洗店员：你有收据吗？
JERRY: I can't find the receipt.
杰瑞：我找不到收据了。
DRY CLEANER: You should get the receipt.
干洗店员：你得拿收据。
JERRY: Look, forget about the receipt, all right? Even if I had the receipt- look at it! It's a hand puppet. What am I gonna do with this?!
杰瑞：少来什么收据不收据的，好吗！就算我有收据，看看这个！这好像掌上玩偶穿的衣服，我该怎么办？！
DRY CLEANER: Yes, but how do I know we did the shirt?
干洗店员：是的，但是怎么判断是我们店洗的呢？
JERRY: What do you think this is a little scam I have? I take this tiny shirt all over the city conning dry cleaners out of money?! In fact, forget the money. I don't even want the money. I just once, I would like to hear a dry cleaner admit that something was their fault. That's what I want. I want an admission of guilt.
杰瑞：你以为我在这儿使诈不成？！我拿着这件微型衬衫跑遍全城的干洗店诓钱对吧？！那这样吧，钱就算了，我压根不想要那钱。我只是想，破天荒头一回，听一个干洗店员承认他们有错。这就是我想要的，我要你的有罪口供。
DRY CLEANER: Maybe you asked for it to be washed?
干洗店员：可能是你要求这样洗的呀？
JERRY: No.. dry-cleaned.
杰瑞：不……我要干洗！
DRY CLEANER: Let me explain to you something. Okay? With certain types of fabrics, different chemicals can react, causing..
干洗店员：我给您解释一下行不？不同的材料，不同的化学材料会产生……
JERRY: (Interrupting) You shrunk it! You know you shrunk it! Just tell me that you shrunk it!
杰瑞：（打断）你们缩小了它！你知道是你们缩小了我的衣服！你就TMD承认了吧！
DRY CLEANER: I shrunk it.
干洗店员：我缩小了它。
(Scene ends.)

[Setting: Night club]
（场景：俱乐部）
JERRY: I think the only reason we go to the dry cleaner is so I can say to the dry cleaner, "Well, it's ruined." And of course, the dry cleaner can respond, "It's not our fault. We're not responsible. We just ruin the clothes. That ends our legal obligation." You see, the whole problem with dry cleaning is that we all believe that this is actually possible. Right? They're cleaning our clothes - but they're not getting anything wet. It's all dry. I know there's gotta be some liquids back there, some fluids that they're using. There's no such thing as dry cleaning. When you get something on your shirt, ever get something on your shirt and try to get it off like that (brushes shirt) - that's dry cleaning. I don't think that's what they're doing back there. They don't have eighty guys going (with imaginary brush) "Come on, hurry up! There's a lot of shirts today."
杰瑞：我认为我们去干洗店的唯一原因无非是，我们可以去和干洗店员说：好吧，我的衣服可算是毁了。还有，当然店员会回答说：这不是我们的问题，我们不承担这个责任。我们就是毁了衣服了怎么样，我们不负法律责任。你看到了吧，干洗的问题就是我们居然都认为这是可能的！对吧？他们能洗干净我们的衣服——而且什么都不会湿。全是“干”的。我就知道总该有点液体遗留的，他们总会用点水吧。根本不存在所谓“干洗”这样的说法。当你衣服有点脏的时候，你想这样除去污渍（捋一下衣服）——这才是干洗。我相信他们可不是这么洗的吧。他们不可能雇80个人在那里这么“洗”——加油啊，赶紧的，今天有好多衣服要“洗”呢！

[Setting: Jerry's apartment]
（场景：杰瑞家，依莲喷嚏）
(Elaine sneezes)

JERRY: Bless you.
杰瑞：保佑你。
ELAINE: Thank you. What evidence is there that cats are so smart, anyway? Huh? What do they do? Because they're clean? I am sorry. My Uncle Pete showers four times a day and he can't count to ten. So don't give me hygiene.
依莲：谢谢。有什么证据证明猫是聪明的？啊？它们都做什么了？因为它们干净？不好意思，我彼得叔每天洗4次澡，可他都数到10都不会呢。所以“讲卫生”不是理由。
JERRY: So what are you gonna do?
杰瑞：那你想怎样？
ELAINE: I don't know. I can't think of any solution, unless of course they should meet with some unfortunate accident. What do you think a hit man would charge to rub out a couple of cats?
依莲：不知道，想不出啥办法，除非它们会突遭飞来横祸。你认为一个杀手处理掉几只猫要多少钱？
JERRY: Well, it couldn't be too expensive. Thirteen, fourteen bucks a cat?
杰瑞：嗯，不会太贵吧，13、4块钱一只猫？
ELAINE: What do you think, Jerry? You wanna make twenty-eight bucks?
依莲：你怎么看，杰瑞？你想赚28块钱不？
JERRY: I'm no cat killer.
杰瑞：我可不是杀猫人。
ELAINE: How about we go over there right now and we shave them?
依莲：我们现在就过去处理掉它们怎么样？
JERRY: I'd really like to go, Elaine. But, George is coming back from the hospital. I gotta wait for him. But otherwise I would definitely go.
杰瑞：我想去的，依莲。但是，乔治要从医院回来，我要等他，不然我肯定去。
ELAINE: He actually wen to the hospital?
依莲：他还真去了医院啊？
JERRY: Yeah.
杰瑞：是啊。
ELAINE: Oh man, he's nuts.
依莲：哦，天，他真是小笨笨。
JERRY: Yeah, he's nuts. You wanta bump off a couple of cats. (Enter Kramer, holding a paper) I know, I know. It's down again.
杰瑞：是啊，他是傻子。你想不想撞上一些猫。（克雷默进，拿着报纸）我知道，我知道，又下跌了是吧？
KRAMER: How much are you down altogether?
克雷默：你一共跌了多少？
JERRY: I don't know.. fifteen hundred dollars.
杰瑞：不知道……1500？
KRAMER: Wow.
克雷默：哇靠！
JERRY: You don't have to say "Wow." I know it's "Wow." And there's that smile again. Well, what is that?
杰瑞：你不需要说“哇靠”吧，我知道这很夸张，又来那种笑容了，啥意思你？
(Intercom buzzes)
（门铃响）
JERRY: It's George. (Presses button to let George in.)
杰瑞：是乔治。
(Elaine goes into the bathroom; kramer picks up some binoculars and looks ou the window)
（依莲进洗手间，克雷默用望远镜看窗外）
KRAMER: Oh, look at this one by the bus stop. Jerry, come here. Take a look at this.
克雷默：哦，看看那个在汽车站的人，杰瑞，过来，就看一眼。
JERRY: I really don't need to look.
杰瑞：我不需要看。
KRAMER: What a body. Yeeaahh.. that's for me.
克雷默：身材不错啊，耶……她归我了。
JERRY: Yeah, and you're just what she's looking for too - a stranger leering through a pair of binoculars ten floors up.
杰瑞：是啊，你也刚好是她想要的人——一个在10楼用望远镜偷窥的陌生人。
KRAMER: I'm gonna go down there and try and talk to her. (leaves)
克雷默：我要下去和她搭讪。
(Enter George; he flops onto the couch)
（乔治进，坐沙发）
JERRY: What? What? Did you go down there? (George nods) Did he tell you what's gonna happen? (George shakes his head "no".) How long were you there?
杰瑞：怎么啦？你去过医院了？（乔治点头）他告诉你啥情况了没？（乔治摇头）你在那里呆了多久？
GEORGE: Fifteen seconds.
乔治：15秒。
JERRY: You told him you knew Simons?
杰瑞：你告诉他你认识西蒙斯了？
GEORGE: Yeah, I mentioned Simons. Next thing I know - I'm in the parking lot. Perhaps they had some sort of a falling out. I'll tell you one thing.. I don't know what he's got. But for a sick guy, he's very strong.
乔治：是，我提到过西蒙斯，接下来就是——我在停车场了。他们大概是吵架了。告诉你吧，我是不知道他得什么病了。但是作为一个病人，他可真够壮的。
(Elaine exits bathroom)
（依莲离开洗手间）
JERRY: Well, that's it. Look, I'm going to Vermont. I don't want to think about this. I'm selling.
杰瑞：好吧，就这样吧。我要去弗蒙特了，不要再去想这事了，我要抛售了。
ELAINE: Didn't work, huh?
依莲：没起作用，是吧？
GEORGE: (Laughs) Not quite.
乔治：（大笑）是没用。
ELAINE: Well, what are you gonna do about the stock?
依莲：好吧，你要怎么处理股票？
GEORGE: I'm keeping it. I'm going down with the ship.
乔治：我要保留，我要与股票共存亡。
(Scene ends.)

[Setting: Country Inn]
（场景：乡村旅馆）
JERRY: So I know this guy. I'm getting all my sneakers at a discount now.
杰瑞：我认识一个家伙。我要把我的跑鞋都打折卖了。
VANESSA: I know. You mentioned it.
凡妮莎：我晓得，你提起过。
JERRY: Oh yeah, right. (To himself) Oh God. Get me out of here. What a mistake. What made me think this would work? And I've still got another day! I've got nothing left to say. Wait.. wait.. got one. (To Vanessa) That's a nice watch. Do you wind it?
杰瑞：哦，好吧。（自言自语）神啊，让我离开这里吧，这真是个错误。居然会相信这样会有效。还有一天要过！我已经没有话好说了。等……等等……有一个了。（对凡妮莎）手表真不错啊，是上发条的吗？
VANESSA: No, it's got a little battery.
凡妮莎：不，用电池的。
JERRY: Well, that's good. (To himself) Well, the drive home should be a delight. I'm speeding the whole way. Let them throw me in jail. I don't care. (To Vanessa) That' the manager? Do you wnat me to see if we can get another room?
杰瑞：哦，不错，很好。（自言自语）好了，回家的路一定很开心。我要马力全开。把我关到牢里好了。我都无所谓。（对凡妮莎）那是经理吗？要不要我去说说看能不能给我们再开一间房？
VANESSA: No, it's okay.
凡妮莎：不用了，这样就行。
JERRY: So, I guess you don't find the separate faucets for the hot and cold - charming?
杰瑞：那么，我想你不觉得单独的冷热水龙头没啥了不起的？
VANESSA: Not especially.
凡妮莎：没啥特别。
JERRY: Well, what do you wnat to do this afternoon?
杰瑞：哦，下午你想干啥？
VANESSA: What can we do? It's raining.
凡妮莎：我们能做什么？下雨呢。
JERRY: We cold play "Sorry!" We cold play "Steal the Old Man's Bundle." (To himself) Maybe I can get an extension cord and hang myself. (To Vanessa) What kind of perfume is that you're wearing?
杰瑞：我们可以玩“对不起”游戏，或者“偷那老头的包袱”的游戏。（自言自语）或者我去拿条绳子，上吊得了。（对凡妮莎）你用啥香水？
VANESSA: Oh, you've never heard of it.
凡妮莎：哦，你肯定没听说过的。
JERRY: No, what? What kind is it?
杰瑞：不会吧，是啥？到底是什么？
VANESSA: I can't tell you.
凡妮莎：不能告诉你。
JERRY: (To himself) Yeah, that's normal. (Out loud, to a man nearby) Excuse me, Sir. Could I have a look at that business section?
杰瑞：（自言自语）是啊，很正常。（大声的对旁边的人）不好意思，先生，我能看看（报纸）商业版吗？
VANESSA: That stock? I thought you got out of that?
凡妮莎：又是那股票？我以为你已经卖出了呢。
JERRY: I did. I'm just curious. It's been almost a week. I want to check it out. (finds stock) Six points. It's up six points!
杰瑞：是啊，我只是好奇，都过去一个礼拜了，我想看看。（查找股票）6点！它涨了6个点了！
VANESSA: I told you not to sell.
凡妮莎：我告诉你别卖的。
JERRY: You did not tell me not to sell.
杰瑞：你没有说要我别卖啊。
VANESSA: I said, the market fluctuates. Remember?
凡妮莎：我说的，市场波动，不记得了？
JERRY: Look, Vanessa, of course the market fluctuates. Everybody knows that. I just got fluctuated out of four thousand dollars!
杰瑞：听着，凡妮莎，市场当然是波动啦。谁TMD不知道。我只是被“波动”走了4000美金！
VANESSA: That's probably why.. (stops herself)
凡妮莎：那可能是因为……（停了）
JERRY: What?
杰瑞：什么？
VANESSA: Forget it.
凡妮莎：算了。
JERRY: No, what? 'That's probably why..'
杰瑞：不，什么？“那可能是……”
VANESSA: That's probably why we're staying here, because you lost money on the stock.
凡妮莎：因为你在股票赔钱了，所以我们才在这里呀。
JERRY: (To himself) So, what am I looking at here? Twenty=nine hours to go. Well, at least I got plenty of time to find out the name of that purfume..
杰瑞：（自言自语）那么，我们在这里干嘛。还有29小时，好吧，至少我有足够的事件找出香水的名字。
(Scene ends.)

[Setting: Coffee shop]
（场景：咖啡馆）
GEORGE: Have something else. C'mon, have a little dessert?
乔治：再点点啥呗。来吧，再要点甜点？
JERRY: I'm good, thanks.
杰瑞：够了，谢谢。
GEORGE: Elaine, get something! It's all taken care of.
乔治：依莲，再要点啥！我买单。
ELAINE: I'm kinda full.
依莲：我差不多饱了。
GEORGE: So don't finish it.
乔治：用不着吃完。
JERRY: (acidly) She's full. (George puts up his hands in an "excuse me" gesture.) So, Big daddy. I'm just curious. How much did you clear on your little trasaction there? All told?
杰瑞：（酸酸的）她饱了。（乔治作出“不好意思”的手势）那么，老大哥，我只是好奇，你到底赚了多少啊？
GEORGE: I don't like to discuss figures.
乔治：我不想讨论具体数字。
JERRY: How much?
杰瑞：多少钱？
GEORGE: I don't know, what? Eight thousand. It's a Hyundai. Get out of here.. I told you not to sell. Simons made money, Wilkinson cleaned up.
乔治：不知道，什么？8000.一辆车车。少来了……我跟你说别卖了，西蒙斯赚钱了，威尔金森扫尾。
JERRY: So, Wilkinson's out of the hospital now?
杰瑞：那么，威尔金森出院了？
GEORGE: No. You'd be surprised. You don't recover that quickly from a nose job.
乔治：不，你会很惊讶的。鼻子破了没那么快恢复。
(Elaine sneezes)
（依莲喷嚏）
JERRY: Is taht still from the cats?
杰瑞：还是因为猫过敏？
ELAINE: No, I just have a cold.
依莲：不，我只是感冒了。
JERRY: So, what ever happened with that?
杰瑞：那么，发生什么了吗？
ELAINE: I gave him an ultimatum. (Shrugs)
依莲：我给他最后通牒了。（耸肩）
GEORGE: He chose the cats?
乔治：他选择猫而不是你？
ELAINE: They're very clean animals.
依莲：它们可是非常干净的小动物。
JERRY: I gotta say, that's pretty sad. Losing out to a cat.
杰瑞：不得不说，真是悲哀啊。输给一只猫。
ELAINE: Almost as bad as losing out to a perfume.
依莲：就跟输给一支香水差不多。
GEORGE: I told you those trips were relationship killers. Too bad you can't get your buddy Superman to fly around the Earth at super speed and reverse time.You'd get all the money back - you could have avoided the whole trip to Vermont.
乔治：我跟你说过旅行是恋情的杀手。真遗憾你不像超人兄弟那样可以飞速的绕地球转或者逆转时空。你就能找回失去的钱了——还能避免弗蒙特之旅。
ELAINE: Superman can go back in time?
依莲：超人能回到过去？
JERRY: We went over that.
杰瑞：你信他的。
GEORGE: Wilkinson's got a bite on a new one.. Petramco Corp. Out of, hu, Springfield. I think. They're about to introduce some sort of robot butcher.
乔治：威尔金森又有新消息了……佩特拉科公司。他们要做一些机器屠夫。
JERRY: A robot butcher?
杰瑞：机器屠夫？
GOERGE: Shhhhh. If you want to get in - there's very little time. (Calling to waitress) Sweetheart.. (Waitress tears of check, George stops her) No, no, no. That' ought to coever it. (He hands her some money, she turns to leave, George stops her) Just a second..  Just a.. let me.. (looks at the check, then take some money out of her hand.) (Urging Jerry and Elaine to eat) Come on, come on, come on..
乔治：嘘……你想入伙吗？时间不多了哦。（叫服务生）亲爱的……（服务生扯下账单，乔治喊她）不，不，应该够了吧。（给她钱，她走了，乔治又喊停她）等一会……就……让我……（看看账单，又从她手里拿走一些钱）（催促杰瑞、依莲赶紧吃）快点……快……
(Scene ends.)

[Setting: Night club]
（场景：俱乐部）
JERRY: I'm not an investor. People always tell me, you should have your money working for you. I've decided I'll do the work. I'm gonna let the money relax. You know what I mean? 'Cause you send your money out there - working for you - a lot of times, it gets fired. You go back there, "What happened? I had my money. It was here, it was working for me." "Yeah, I remember your money. Showing up late. Taking time off. We had to let him go."
杰瑞：我不是什么投资者。人们总是跟我说，你得让钱为你工作。我决定不这么做，我想让我的钱“休息”。懂我的意思不？因为你把你的钱派出去——让它们为你工作——很多次，它会被“辞退”的！你到那里，“发生什么了？我的钱呢，不是在那里的嘛，不是在为我工作嘛”。（回答说）“是啊，我记得你的钱，天天迟到早退的，我们不得不辞退它了。”