1991年1月23日
第二季第一集
前女友

Plot summary for "Seinfeld" The Ex-Girlfriend
Jerry begins seeing George's ex-girlfriend, Marlene, whom George finds altogether annoying. Jerry wants to break up with Marlene but can't because she has a "psychosexual hold" on him. Marlene then breaks up with Jerry after seeing his comedy act. George is angry over a huge chiropractor bill, which he argues that he shouldn't have to pay for.

情节概要：
杰瑞开始和乔治的前女友——马尔琳约会，乔治很不爽。杰瑞也想要分手，可是马尔琳在心“性”上控制了他。不过在看过杰瑞的喜剧表演后马尔琳主动提出分手。乔治对医疗按摩的收费很不满，他认为他不该付这笔钱。

[Setting: Nightclub]
（场景：俱乐部）
JERRY: I'm always in traffic with the lane expert. You know this type of person? Constantly reevaluating their lane choice.. Never quite sure, "Is this the best lane for me? For my life?" They're always a little bit ahead of you, "Can I get in over there? Could I get in over here? Could I get in there?" "Yeah, come on over here, pal. We're zoomin' over here. This is the secret lane, nobody knows about it.." The ultimate, I think the ultimate psychological test of traffic is the total dead stop. Not even rolling. And you look out the window, you can see gum clearly. So we know that in the future traffic will get even worse than that. I mean, what will happen? Will it start moving backwords, I wonder? I mean, is that possible? That someday we'll be going "Boy, this is some really bad traffic now, boy. This, is really bad. I'm gonna try to get off and get back on going the other way."
杰瑞：我总是在堵塞的状况里遇到“变线专家”。你知道这类人吗？不停的研究在路线上的选择……永远不确定，“这是我的最佳线路吗？我的人生之路？”而他们总是在你们前面晃荡，“我能变到那条线吗？或是这条线？”“是的，请来这条路吧，我们在这条路上飞奔，这是条秘道，一般人进不来。”我想交通堵塞中，给人带来终极的心理压力的情况是一动不动。滚都滚不动。往车窗外看，你都能看见牙龈（有误）。我们都知道了，将来交通状况还会更差。天，那将是什么情况啊？也许某天我们只能这样：“唉，交通状况真差啊，额滴神，太糟糕了！我都想倒回去了。”
[Setting: Jerry's car]
（场景：杰瑞车中）
GEORGE: She can't kill me right?!
乔治：她不会杀了我对吧？
JERRY: No, of course not.
杰瑞：不，当然不会啊。
GEORGE: People break up all the time.
乔治：人们总是在分手的。
JERRY: Everyday.
杰瑞：每天都是。
GEORGE: It just didn't work out. What can I do? I wanted to love her. I tried to love her. I couldn't.
乔治：这感情反正是行不通了。我能怎么办？我也想爱她的啊，我尽量去爱她了啊，我就是不能啊。
JERRY: You tried.
杰瑞：你尽力了。
GEORGE: I kept looking at her face. I'd go: "C'mon, love her. Love her!"
乔治：我保持着凝视她的脸，心想：加油！爱她！爱她！
JERRY: Did you tell her you loved her?
杰瑞：你告诉过她你爱她吗？
GEORGE: Oh, I had no choice. She squeezed it out of me! She'd tell me she loved me. Alright, at first, I just look at her. I'd go "Oh, really?" or "Boy, that's, that's something." But, eventually you have to come back with "Well, I love you." You know, you can only hold out for so long!"
乔治：哦，我别无选择。她逼人太甚！她说过她爱我，好吧，刚开始时，我只是看着她，琢磨着“哦，真的吗？”或者“天，真不错啊！”但是，最终还是会回到“好吧，我爱你。”你知道你也只能坚持这么久了。
JERRY: You're a human being.
杰瑞：你也是个凡人。
GEORGE: And I didn't even ask her out. She asked me out first. She called me up. What was I supposed to do? Say no? I can't do that to someone.
乔治：我甚至都没有邀请她出来过。都是她主动邀请我。她打电话给我，我能怎么做？说不？我不能对别人这样。
JERRY: You're too nice a guy.
杰瑞：你是个好人。
GEORGE: I am. I'm a nice guy.. (realizing) And she seduced me! We were in my apartment, I'm sitting on the couch, she's on the chair - I get up to go to the bathroom, I come back, she's on the couch. What am I supposed to do? Not do anything? I couldn't do that. I would've insulted her.
乔治：我是，我是个好人……（意识到）是她在诱惑我！我们在我的公寓，我坐在沙发上，她在椅子上，我起身去洗手间，我回来，她坐在沙发上。我能怎么做？啥都不做？我可不能这样！那不是侮辱她嘛。
JERRY: You're flesh and blood.
杰瑞：你只是血气方刚。
GEORGE: I had nothing to do wtih any of this! I met all her friends, I didn't want to meet them. I kept trying to avoid it. I knew it would only get me in deeper. But they were everywhere! They kept popping up, all over the place. "This is Nancy, this is Susan, this is Amy.. This is my cousin.. this is my brother.. thisis my father." It's like I'm in quicksand.
乔治：我与整件事情无关！我见过她所有的朋友，可我压根不想见他们。我一直避免这个。我知道这些只会让我越陷越深。可是他们无处不在！他们不停的跳出来，任何地方……“这是南希，这是苏珊，这是阿美……这是我表亲……这是我兄弟……这是我老爸！”我就像陷入流沙一样……
JERRY: I told you when I met her..
杰瑞：我早就跟你说过的。
GEORGE: My back is killing me.
乔治：我的背痛死了。
JERRY: You gotta go to my chiropractor, he's the best.
杰瑞：你得去看看我的按摩医生，他很棒。
GEORGE: Oh yeah, everybody's guy is the best.
乔治：哦，每个人的都是最棒的。
JERRY: I'm gonna make an appointment for you. We'll go together.
杰瑞：我给你安排个预约，我们一起去。
GEORGE: Please. They don't do anything.. Look, do I have to break up with her in person? CAn't I do it over the phone? I have no stomach for these things.
乔治：得了吧。他们啥效果也起不到……你说我们必须面对面的分手嘛？还是我可以通过电话？我可没胆面对面的说。
JERRY: You should just do it like a Band-Aid. One motion! Right off!
杰瑞：你就该像撕掉邦迪一样，爽快点！快刀斩乱麻！
(Car door opens, it's Elaine)
（车门开，依莲）
ELAINE: Hi.
依莲：嗨。
JERRY: Hi.
杰瑞：嗨。
(George pulls his seat forward to allow Elaine into the back seats)
（乔治座位前移，依莲入后座）
ELAINE: Hey, what are you doing?
依莲：嗨，你们在干啥呢？
GEORGE: I'm letting you in.
乔治：我在让你进车啊。
ELAINE: Oh no. No. I don't want to sit in the back. I'll be left out of the conversation.
依莲：哦，不，不，我不要坐后排，那样我会被排斥在你们的谈话外的。
GEORGE: No, you won't.
乔治：不，你不会的。
ELAINE: Yes, I will, George. I'll have to sick my chin on top of the seat.
依莲：会，我会的，乔治。我坐定那个位子了。
GEORGE: Okay..
乔治：好吧……
(George gets out, and gestures for Elaine to sit in the seat)
（乔治出，示意依莲坐前座）
ELAINE: Why can't you sit in the middle?
依莲：你为什么不坐在中间呢？
GEORGE: Please, it doesn't look good. Boy, boy, girl.
乔治：求你了，这多难看啊。天，天，女人……
ELAINE: I think you're afraid to sit next to a man. You're a little homophobic, aren't you?
依莲：我认为你害怕坐在男人边上。你有点“恐同”，对吧？
GEORGE: Is it that obvious?
乔治：明摆着的事嘛。
(Elaine sits in the middle)
（依莲坐在中间）
ELAINE: Hello, Jerry.
依莲：好啊，杰瑞。
JERRY: Hello.
杰瑞：好。
ELAINE: Did you get a haircut?
依莲：你剪过头发啦？
JERRY: No, shower. So, where are we eating?
杰瑞：没有，洗澡而已。那么，我们吃点啥？
ELAINE: Tell me if you think this is strange: There's this guy who lives in my building, who I was introduced to a couple of years ago by a friend. He's a teacher, or something. Anyway, after we met, whenever we'd run into each other on the street, or in the lobby, or whatever, we would stop and we would chat a little.. Nothing much. Little pleasantries. He was a nice guy, he's got a family.. then after a while, I noticed there was not more stopping. Just saying hello and continuing on our way. And then the verbal hellos stopped, and we just went into these little sort of nods of recognition. So, fine. I figure, that's where this relationship is finally gonna settle: polite nodding. Then one day, he doesn't nod. Like I don't exist?! He went from nods to nothing.
依莲：你倒是说说这事怪不：有个家伙和我同住一幢楼的，几年前一个朋友介绍我们认识过。他是个老师，之类的吧。反正，我们认识后，每次在街上还是楼下的大堂碰到，我们都会听下来闲扯几句。没什么正事，就一些寒暄之类的。他是个不错的家伙，他有家室了。然后过了一阵子，我发现我们不再听下来闲扯了。只是说你好就各走各路了。再接下来就连你好也不说了，只是点头示意一下罢了。那好吧，我以为，这就算是我们关系的最终格局了：点头之交。可接下来一次，他点头都不点了。好像我不存在一样！从点头之交变成了形同陌路。
GEORGE: (imitating Tony Bennett) "You know, I'd go from nods to nothing.."
乔治：（模仿托尼.本内特）“你知道的，我从点头到啥也不做……”
ELAINE: And now, there's this intense animosity whenever we passs. I mean, it's like we really hate each other. It's based on nothing.
依莲：现在就好像我们每次经过的时候都有种仇恨的情绪在蔓延。我是说，就好像我们真的恨对方一样，而其实啥都没有。
JERRY: A relationship is an organism. You created this thing and then you starved it so it turned against you. Same thing happened to The Blob.
杰瑞：一段关系就像个有机体一样。你创造出来，然后你饿着它，他就反戈相向。和电影《The Blob》里面一样。
GEORGE: I think you absolutely have to say something to this guy. Confront him.
乔治：我觉得你必须得对他说点啥吧，和他对质。
ELAINE: Really?
依莲：真的吗？
GEORGE: Yes.
乔治：是啊。
ELAINE: You would do that?
依莲：你会这么做？
GEORGE: If I was a different person.
乔治：要是我是其他人的话。
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Jerry's apartment; Jerry's on the phone]
（场景：杰瑞家，杰瑞在电话中）
JERRY: Hello.. hello. Is Glenn there? I'm sorry. Is this 805-555-3234?.. Yes, I know I have the wrong number. But I just want to know if I dialed wrong or if..
杰瑞：喂……喂，格伦在吗？不好意思，是805-555-3234吗？是，我知道我号码错了，我只是想知道是我拨错了还是……
(Other guy hangs up on Jerry; he redials; enter Kramer)
（对方挂断，杰瑞重拨，克雷默进）
(The buzzer buzzes; Kramer answers it)
（门铃响，克雷默应答）
KRAMER: Come on up.
克雷默：上来吧。
JERRY: (Into phone) Oh, it's you again. See? Now if you had answered me, I wouldn't have had to do this. Now that's too long distance calls I made to you why can't you.. (guy hangs up on Jerry again). (To Kramer) Why? Why do they just hang up like that?! Thank you very much.
杰瑞：（电话）哦，又是你。看见了吧？如果你刚才回答我，我就不用再打给你了。又是个长途，你就不能……（对方又挂断）（对克雷默）为什么？为什么他又挂我电话？！非常感谢。
(Kramer holds up cantaloupe)
（克雷默拿着个甜瓜）
KRAMER: Taste this.
克雷默：尝尝！
JERRY: No, I just had a sandwich.
杰瑞：谢谢，我刚吃过三明治。
KRAMER: No, taste it. Taste it.
克雷默：尝尝，就尝一下吧！
JERRY: I don't want cantaloupe now.
杰瑞：我现在不想吃甜瓜。
KRAMER: You've never had cantaloupe like this before.
克雷默：你肯定没有吃过这么好的甜瓜。
JERRY: I only eat cantaloupe at certain times.
杰瑞：我只在特定的时间吃甜瓜。
KRAMER: Jerry. This is great cantaloupe.
克雷默：杰瑞，这可是很棒的甜瓜啊！
JERRY: Alright.. (tastes it)
杰瑞：好吧……（尝了一下）
KRAMER: Ah, huh. It's good?
克雷默：哦，是恨不错吧？
JERRY: It's very good.
杰瑞：相当好吃。
KRAMER: Good, huh?
克雷默：好吃，对吧？
JERRY: Good.
杰瑞：好吃。
KRAMER: I got it at Joe's.
克雷默：是乔家水果店的。
JERRY: Uh-Huh.
杰瑞：哦。
KRAMER: Forty-nine cents a pound. That's practically half than what you're paying at the supermarket. I don't know why you don't go to Joe's.
克雷默：一磅49美分。只是超市价的一半哦。我就不知道你为啥抵制乔家水果。
JERRY: It's too far.
杰瑞：太远了。
KRAMER: It's three blocks further. You can use my shopping cart..
克雷默：只是再过去3个街区而已。你能用我的购物车。
JERRY: I'm not pulling a shopping cart. What am I suppose to wear? A kerchief? Put stockings on and roll 'em down below my knee?
杰瑞：我是不会用你的购物车了。我该穿啥？围巾？车边挂着袜子，然后骑着它？
KRAMER: See, the other thing is, if you don't like anything, he takes it right back.
克雷默：你要不喜欢的话就别拿着了。
JERRY: I don't return fruit. Fruit is a gamble. I know that going in.
杰瑞：我不把水果送回去的，水果就像是赌博。就那么回事。
(Enter George; he's extremely excited - he's dancing around the room, singing the Zorba theme)
（乔治兴高采烈近来，在屋子里打转，唱歌）
GEORGE: I'm outta there. I did it! It's over.
乔治：我要离开这里，我成功了！一切都结束啦。
JERRY: You did it? What happened?
杰瑞：你成功了？发生啥事了？
GEORGE: I told her. In the kitchen - which was risky 'cause it's near all the knives. I started with the word "Listen."
乔治：我告诉她了。在厨房——考虑到周围全是刀具，还是很危险的。我的开场词是：听着……
JERRY: Ah ha.
杰瑞：啊哈。
GEORGE: I said, "Listen Marlene," and then the next thing I know, I'm in the middle of it. And there's this voice inside of me going: "You're doing it! You're doing it!" And then she started to cry, and I weakened a bit. I almost relented, but the voice, Jerry. The voice said "Keep going, keep going. You're almost out!" It's like I was making a prison break, you know. And I'm heading for the wall, and I trip and I twist my ankle, and they throw the light on you, you know. So, somehow I get though the crying and I keep running. Then the cursing started. She's firing at me from the guard tower: "Son of a bang! Son of a boom!" I get to the top of the wall - the front door. I opened it up, I'm one foot away, I took one last look around the penitentiary, and I jumped!
乔治：我说：“听着，马尔琳”，接下来我所知道的就是我开始了。然后脑海里一个声音在说：你正在做！你正在和她分手！然后她就开始哭泣，我有点退缩。我差不多就要放弃了，但是那个声音，杰瑞。那个声音在说：“加油，坚持住，你差不多就成功了！”这就像我在越狱一样，你知道嘛，我正在冲向围墙，我爬上去、崴了脚，探照灯照向我！突然间，我逃离了她眼泪的牢笼、继续奔跑。然后那个诅咒又来了。她在看守塔楼上调戏我，狗娘养的。（不太理解）我爬到墙头，到了前门，打开大门，只有一步之遥啦，我再最后看了一眼监狱，然后，我跳了出去！
JERRY: See, it's never as bad as you imagine.
杰瑞：看见了吧，不像你想的那么坏吧。
KRAMER: I liked Marlene. What's her number?
克雷默：我喜欢马尔琳，她的电话是？
GEORGE: No, I, I don't think so.
乔治：省省吧，你TMD少来。
(Kramer stants making noises while eating)
（克雷默吃出声音）
JERRY: Could you stop that smacking?
杰瑞：麻烦你别发出这种声音好不？
KRAMER: George, I want you to taste this cantaloupe.
克雷默：乔治，我要你尝一下这甜瓜。
GEORGE: Oh no, thank you.
乔治：哦，不，谢谢。
KRAMER: It's the best cantaloupe I ever had.
克雷默：这可是我吃过的最好的甜瓜啦。
GEORGE: No, really. No, no, thanks.
乔治：不，真的，不，不，谢啦。
KRAMER: Jerry, tell him how good this cantaloupe is.
克雷默：杰瑞，告诉他这甜瓜有多好。
JERRY: It's very good cantaloupe. (changing subject) So that's it? You're out?
杰瑞：这是很好的甜瓜。（换话题）那就这样啦，你就脱离感情的束缚啦？
GEORGE: Except for one small problem. I left some books in her apartment.
乔治：还有个小尾巴，我在她家落下几本书。
JERRY: So, go get them.
杰瑞：那么，去拿回来呗。
GEORGE: Oh, no. No, I can't go back there. Jerry, it's so awkward and, you know, it could be dangerous - sexually. Something could happen, I'd be right back where I started.
乔治：哦，不，不，我不能再去那里。杰瑞，这很尴尬的，你知道的，还很危险——性的诱惑。可能会发生什么的，我又会回到原点啦。
JERRY: So forget about the books. Did you read them?
杰瑞：那就忘了这些书吧，你要看？
GEORGE: Well, yeah.
乔治：是的。
JERRY: What do you need them for?
杰瑞：你要这些书干嘛？
GEORGE: I don't know. They're books.
乔治：我不知道，可那是书啊。
JERRY: What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses - like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?
杰瑞：真搞不懂有些人这么迷恋书本。他们把书放到屋子里——就好像他们的战利品似的。真不知道看完后还有什么用。
GEORGE: They're MY books.
乔治：可那是我的书！
JERRY: So you want me to get those books? Is that it?
杰瑞：难道你想要我去取回这些书？你是这意思？
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Coffee Shop]
（场景：咖啡馆）
(Jerry and Marlene are sitting, a pile of books are on the table.)
（杰瑞和马尔琳坐着，放着一堆书）
MARLENE: ..So, it must've been ninety-five degrees that night, and everyone's just standing around the pool with little drinks in their hands. I was wearing my old jeans and T-shirt. And I don't know, I was just in one of those moods - so I said to myself, "Marlene, just do it," and I jumped in. And as I'm getting out, I feel all these eyes on me, and I look up and everyone is just staring at me.
马尔琳：……那晚大概有95度的高温，每个人都拿着酒在游泳池旁站着。我穿着旧牛仔和T裇衫，突然间不知道为什么，我就来了情绪了，我对自己说：马尔琳，去做吧。我就跳了下去。当我出来时，我感觉所有的目光都集中在我身上，我就坦然迎接这种目光。
JERRY: So what'd you do?
杰瑞：你做啥啦？
MARLENE: Well, nothing. It's not skin off my hide if people like to look. I just didn't see what the big attraction was.
马尔琳：实际上也没啥。不就是我的身材在湿漉漉的衣服里面呼之欲出嘛，就啥大不了的。
JERRY: Well, I have a general idea what it was. I could take a guess.
杰瑞：呵呵，我能猜出个大概来。
MARLENE: (Laughs) Hey, you know, Jerry, just because George and I don't see each other anymore, it doesn't mean we shouldn't stay friends.
马尔琳：（笑）嗨，你知道嘛，杰瑞，虽然我和乔治分手了，但我和你还可以是朋友吧？
JERRY: No.
杰瑞：当然。
MARLENE: Good enough. I'm really glad we got that settled.
马尔琳：很好。很高兴都处理好了。
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Chiropractor waiting room]
（场景：按摩理疗等候室）
JERRY: (Irritated) I don't know how this happened.
杰瑞：（激怒状）不知道这是怎么发生的。
GEORGE: Jerry, it's not my fault.
乔治：杰瑞，这不是我的问题。
JERRY: No, no. It's not your fault. Books, books, I need my books. Have you re-read those books yet, by the way? You know the great thing? When you read Moby Dick the second time, Ahab and the whale become good friends. You know, it's not like Marlene's a bad person or anything, but, my God! I mean, we've had like three lunches and a movie. And she never stops calling. (George nods - he knows exactly what Jerry's talking about) And it's these meaningless, purposeless, blather calls. She never asks if I'm busy or anything. I just pick up the phone and she's in the middle of a sentence.
杰瑞：不，不，不是你的问题。书，书，我需要我的书。顺便问一句，你有没有再度光临一下你的“书”啊？你知道好玩的是啥吗？当你第二次读《大白鲸》时，你会发现啊哈和白鲸成了好朋友呢。要知道，这可不是因为马尔琳的个性不好或什么，但是，额滴神啊！我们已经共进了三次午餐和一部电影，她还不停的骚扰我。（乔治点头，他了解杰瑞说的话）还有这些无聊的、漫无边际的废话电话。她从不问我是否在忙其他事啊。我拿起电话，她就已经打开话茬了。
GEORGE: That's standard. Has she left you one of those messages where she uses up the whole machine?
乔治：这很附和程序。她是不是给你答录机留言，一个留言就占据你机器的全部空间的那种？
JERRY: Ohh.. you know, and sometimes she'll go, "Hello, Jerry?" and I'll go "Oh, hi Marlene." And then it's "Jerry.."
杰瑞：哦，有时候我们这么交流，她说：喂，杰瑞？我回答：哦，嗨，马尔琳。然后就是“杰瑞……”
GEORGE: What about getting off the phone?
乔治：有没有试过离开电话？
JERRY: Ohhhh.. you can't. It's impossible. There's no break in the conversation where you can go, "Alright, then.. " You know, it just goes on and on and on with out a break in the wall. I mean, I gotta put a stop to this.
杰瑞：哦……可不能。这不可能的。她的话里根本没有空间让你插一句：“好吧，那么……”。你知道，一直不停的说啊说啊一刻不停，我是说，我必须喊停了。
GEORGE: Just do it like a Band-Aid. One motion, right off! She is sexy though. Don't you think?
乔治：就像撕下邦迪一样啊。一次性的，立马解决。不过她是有点小性感啦，你觉得吗？
JERRY: Yeah. Yes, she is.
杰瑞：是，是的，可不是嘛。
(Receptionist enters)

RECEPTIONIST: Mr. Costanza?
接待员：康斯坦茨先生？
GEORGE: Yeah.
乔治：是的。
RECEPTIONIST: The doctor'll see you now.
接待员：医生就来了。
GEORGE: (To Jerry, sarcastically) Yeah, doctor. I'm going to have to wait in that little room by myself, aren't I? (Picks up a crossword puzzle) I better take this. I hate the little room. "Oh, hello, Doctor."
乔治：（对杰瑞，讽刺的）是啊，医生。我将要去那间小密室里面孤独等待，是吧？（拿过一个字谜的报纸）我还是带着这个吧，我讨厌小房间。“哦，你好，医生”。
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Night club]
（场景：俱乐部）
JERRY: Waiting room. I hate when they make you wait in the room. 'Cause it says "Waiting room." There's no chance of not waiting, 'cause they call it the waiting room, they're going to use it. They've got it. It's all set up for you to wait. And you sit there, you know, and you've got your little magazine. You pretend you're reading it, but you're really looking at the other people. You know, you're thinking about about them things like "I wonder what he's got. As soon as she goes, I'm getting her magazine." And then, they finally call you and it's a very exciting moment. They finally call you, and you stand up and you kinda look around at the other people in the room. "Well, I guess I've been chosen. I'll see you all later." You know, so you think you're going to see the doctor, but you're not, are you? No. You're going into the next waiting room. The littler waiting room. But if they are, you know, doing some sort of medical thing to you, you want to be in the smallest room that they have, I think. You don't wnat to be in the largest room that they have. You know what I mean? You ever see these operating theaters, that they have, with like, stadium seating? You don't want them doing antying to you that makes other doctors go, "I have to see this!" "Are you kidding? Are they really gonna do that to him?" "Are there seats? Can we get in?" Do they scalp tickets to these things? "I got two for the Winslow tumor, I got two.."
杰瑞：等候室。我讨厌被要求在个房间里等着。因为上面写着“等候室”。不可能不去等待，因为人们叫它“等候室”，他们将进去，使用这房间。其实要你等着都是糊弄人的。你知道的，你坐在那里，带着你的小杂志。你假装你在看杂志，其实你在张望其他人。你在想些事情，“我想他在看什么杂志呢，一旦他走了，我就要他那本杂志。”然后，终于轮到你了，这可是个激动人心的时刻。他们终于叫你的名字了，你起身环顾等候室里的其他人。“好吧，我想我被选中了，咱们待会见啦。”你认为你可以去见医生了，其实不然，可不是嘛。是的，你又要去下一间等候室，更小的房间。但是我想如果他们对你做点啥检查啊，你一定会想待在一间最小的房间里。你可不想在他们最大的那间房里。知道我在说什么吗？你见过“手术舞台”吗？就是像体育场般有座位的？你可不想出现这幅画面吧：医生们说，“我得看看这个！”、“你扯淡吧，他们真的要对他做这些？”、“还有座位吗，我们能进来吗？”他们甚至都可以卖票。“我有两张温氏肿瘤的票子，我有两张……”
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Waiting room]
（场景：等候室）
(George returns)
（乔治回来）
JERRY: So, how was it?
杰瑞：怎么样？
GEORGE: I was in there for two minutes. He didn't do anything. (Imitating doctor) Touch this, feel that. Seventy-five bucks.
乔治：我在那儿两分钟，他啥也没干。（模仿医生）碰碰这儿，摸摸那儿的。75美金！
JERRY: Well, it's a first visit.
杰瑞：唉，这是初诊嘛。
GEORGE: What's seventy-five bucks? What, am I seeing Sinatra in there?! Amd I being entertained? I don't understand this. I'm only paying half.
乔治：75美金就为这？！什么，难道我看到Sinatra天王啦？！（注：美著名歌手）有啥余兴节目？费解！我只付一半钱。
JERRY: You can't do that.
杰瑞：你不能这么做。
GEORGE: Why not?
乔治：为什么不？
JERRY: He's a doctor. You gotta pay what he says.
杰瑞：他是医生。他说多少你都得付。
GEORGE: Oh, no, no, no. I pay what I say.
乔治：哦，不，不，不。我说多少就是多少。
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Jerry's car]
（场景：杰瑞的车里）
MARLENE: Are you feeling weird?
马尔琳：你有没有觉得诡异？
JERRY: No, I'm fine.
杰瑞：没有，我还好啦。
MARLENE: Nothing really happened.
马尔琳：啥也没有发生。
JERRY: Yeah, I know.
杰瑞：是，我知道。
MARLENE: We just kissed a little. People kiss.
马尔琳：我们只是亲了一下下。普通的礼仪吻啦。
JERRY: Yeah.
杰瑞：可不是嘛。
MARLENE: Well.. night.
马尔琳：那么……晚安。
(Leans over and kisses Jerry)
（凑过来吻杰瑞）
JERRY: Good night.
杰瑞：晚安。
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Jerry's apartment]
（场景：杰瑞家）
(Kramer enters with a golf club)
（克雷默拿着高尔夫球棒进屋）
KRAMER: Hey.
克雷默：嗨。
JERRY: Hey.
杰瑞：嗨。
KRAMER: I got it! This time, I got it!
克雷默：我办到！这次我办到了！
JERRY: Alright.
杰瑞：好耶。
KRAMER: Hips! See, it's all hips.
克雷默：喝彩声！全是喝彩声！
JERRY: Uh-huh.
杰瑞：嗯。
KRAMER: You gotta come through with the hips first. (Demonstrates)
克雷默：你先得穿过一群欢呼的人群。（表现）
JERRY: That is out there.
杰瑞：好大的场面。
(Kramer notices Jerry's eating cantaloupe, his eyes light up)
（克雷默发现杰瑞吃甜瓜，眼朝上看）
KRAMER: Joe's?
克雷默：乔家水果？
JERRY: No, supermarket.
杰瑞：不，超市。
KRAMER: Well, is it good?
克雷默：好吧，好吃嘛？
JERRY: It's okay.
杰瑞：还行啦。
KRAMER: Let me taste it. (Takes a bite, spits it out) See, that stinks. You can't eat that. You should take it back.
克雷默：让我尝尝。（试了一口，吐了）不是我说什么，这太难吃了。你怎么能吃这个呢。你该还回去。
JERRY: I'm not taking it back.
杰瑞：我才不拿回去呢。
KRAMER: Alright, I'll take it back. I'm going by there.
克雷默：好吧，我拿回去。反正我路过。
JERRY: I don't care about it.
杰瑞：我不在乎。
KRAMER: Jerry, you should care. Cantaloupe like this should be taken out of circulation.
克雷默：杰瑞，你应该在乎的。这种甜瓜就不配活在这个世上。
JERRY: Alright. Take it back.
杰瑞：好吧，拿回去。
(Phone rings, Jerry is reluctant to answer it)
（电话铃响，杰瑞不情愿的去接听）
JERRY: (On his answering machine) Leave a message, I'll call you back.
杰瑞：（答录机）请留言，我会给您回电。
MARLENE: (Leaving a message) Jerry, have you ever taken a bath in the dark? If I'm not talking into the soap right now, call me back.
马尔琳：（留言）杰瑞，你有在黑暗中洗澡吗？我现在全身都是泡泡，给我回电。
KRAMER: Well?
克雷默：啥意思？
JERRY: Marlene
杰瑞：是马尔琳。
KRAMER: (Smiles) Oh. Oh, Marlene.
克雷默：（笑）哦，哦，马尔琳。
JERRY: Yeah, I took her home one night - we kinda started up a little bit in the car.
杰瑞：是的，有一晚我送她回家时我们在车上小亲热了一下。
KRAMER: I thought you were trying to get rid of her?
克雷默：你不是号称要甩掉她的嘛。
JERRY: I was. She's got me, like, hypnotized.
杰瑞：我是啊。她搞定我了，就像催眠一样。
KRAMER: Does George know?
克雷默：乔治知道不？
JERRY: No, he'd go nuts.
杰瑞：不，不然他会疯的。
KRAMER: Yeah, no kidding.
克雷默：好家伙，还用你说。
JERRY: I feel terrible. (Kramer smiles) I mean, I've seen her a couple of times since then, and I know I can't go any further, but.. I've just got this like, psycho-sexual hold over me. I just want her, I can't breathe. It's like a drug.
杰瑞：我感觉很糟。（克雷默笑）我是说，我们就见过几次，我也知道我不能再和她纠缠下去了，但是……我好像被她“心性”吸引了一样。我想要她，我无法呼吸了，就像吸毒。
KRAMER: Woah, psycho-sexual.
克雷默：喔，心性。
JERRY: I don't know how I'm going to tell him.
杰瑞：我不知道怎么跟乔治说。
KRAMER: Man, I don't understand people. I mean, why would George want to deprive you of pleasure? Is it just me?
克雷默：伙计，我不了解你们。不过乔治为什么要剥夺你的快乐呢？我就不会。
JERRY: It's partially you, yeah.
杰瑞：你不会，是吧。
KRAMER: You're his friend. Better that she should sleep with someone else. Some jerk that he doesn't even know.
克雷默：你是他的朋友，总比她和其他男人睡来得好吧。那些乔治都不认识的混蛋们。
JERRY: Well, he can't kill me, right?
杰瑞：也是，他总不能宰了我，是吧？
KRAMER: You're a human being.
克雷默：你也是个凡人。
JERRY: I mean, she called me. I haven't called her. She started it.
杰瑞：我是说，她给我电话，我可没有给她打过，她开始的。
KRAMER: You're flesh and blood.
克雷默：你血气方刚。
JERRY: I'm a nice guy.
杰瑞：我是个不错的小伙子。
(Enter Elaine, she's holding a lamp)
（依莲进，掌灯）
ELAINE: Hi. (Hands Jerry the lamp)
依莲：嗨。（把灯给杰瑞）
JERRY: Oh, my little airplane lamp.
杰瑞：哦，我的小飞机灯。
ELAINE: You know, you have the slowest elevator in the entire city? That's hard to get used to when you're in so many other fast ones.
依莲：你知道不，你们家的电梯是全城最慢的！当你用过那么多快速电梯后很难适应这老家伙。
JERRY: Well, the apartment elevators are always slower than the offices, because you don't have to be home on time.
杰瑞：住宅里的电梯总归要比办公楼的电梯慢一些，因为你回家不需要准时。
ELAINE: Unless you're married to a dictator..
依莲：除非你嫁给一个独裁者……
JERRY: Yeah.. because they would be very demanding people.
杰瑞：是……这种人总是很苛刻的。
ELAINE: Right. Exactly. So I imagine at some point, somebody's going to offer me some cantaloupe.
依莲：是啊。可不是嘛。我想啊，也许某个时刻，某人会给我一点甜瓜尝尝。
KRAMER: Nope. No good.
克雷默：不。没门儿。
JERRY: Well, you know what they say: Luck in love, Unlucky with fruit.
杰瑞：你知道他们怎么说嘛：情场得意，果场失意。
KRAMER: Well, I'm taking this back. (Leaves)
克雷默：好吧，我把这些送回去。（离开）
ELAINE: So, I had what you might call a little encounter this morning.
依莲：那么，早上我又遇到了我跟你们提起过的邂逅。
JERRY: Really? That guy who stopped saying hello?
杰瑞：真的？那个路过不说你好的家伙？
ELAINE: Yep.
依莲：是。
JERRY: You talked to him?
杰瑞：你和他说话啦？
ELAINE: Yep. I spotted him getting his mail. And at first, I was just going to walk on by, but then I thought "no, no, no, no. Do not be afraid of this man."
依莲：是。他取邮件时我拦住他了，本来想路过算了，但后来我想“不，不，不，不要怕这个人”。
JERRY: Right.
杰瑞：没错。
ELAINE: So, I walked up behind him and I tapped him on the shoulder. And I said, "Hi, remember me?" And he furrows his brow as if he's really trying to figure it out. So I said to him, I said, "You little phony. You know exactly who I am."
依莲：那么，我上前一步，拍拍他的肩，说：“嗨，记得我不？”，他的眉毛纠结好像很难想起来。我又跟他说了：“你这个小瘪三，你很清楚我是谁。”
JERRY: "You little phony"?
杰瑞：“你这个小瘪三”？
ELAINE: I did. I most certainly did. And he said, he goes, "Oh, yeah. You're Jeanette's friend. We did meet once." And I said, "Well, how do you go from that to totally ignoring a person when they walk by?"
依莲：没错。我差不多做到了。然后他说，“哦，想起来了，你是杰内特的朋友。我们见过一次。”我说，“是啊，你怎么就变成对我视而不见了呢？”
JERRY: Amazing.
杰瑞：精彩极了。
ELAINE: And he says, he says, "Look, I just didn't want to say hello anymore, alright?" And I said, "Fine. Fine I didn't want to say hello anymore either, but I wanted you to know that I'm aware of it."
依莲：然后他又说了，“唉，我只是不想再说你好了，行吧？”然后我说，“行，行，我也不再说你好了，但是我想让你知道我受伤害了。”
(Elaine tastes some cantaloupe)
（依莲尝尝甜瓜）
JERRY: You are the Queen of Confrontation. You're my new hero. In fact, you've inspired me. I'm gonna call George about something right now.
杰瑞：你可真是对质女王。你是我的新偶像。不瞒你说，你激励我了。我现在要跟乔治说点事情。
ELAINE: This cantaloupe stinks. (Spits it out)
依莲：这甜瓜难吃死了。（吐了）
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Coffee Shop]
（场景：咖啡馆）
GEORGE: I don't care.
乔治：我不在乎。
JERRY: You're kidding.
杰瑞：你开玩笑吧。
GEORGE: No, I don't care.
乔治：不，我真不在乎。
JERRY: You mean that?
杰瑞：你确定？
GEORGE: Absolutely.
乔治：确定一定以及肯定。
JERRY: You don't care?
杰瑞：你不在乎？
GEORGE: No.
乔治：无视。
JERRY: How could you not care?
杰瑞：你怎么能不在乎呢？
GEORGE: I don't know. But I don't. I'm actually almost happy to hear it.
乔治：我不知道。但是我就是不在乎。我甚至很高兴听到这个。
JERRY: I thought you'd be upset.
杰瑞：我以为你会很不爽呢。
GEORGE: I guess I should be but I'm not.
乔治：我也以为会这样，但是我没有。
JERRY: Am I a bad person? Did I do something terrible?
杰瑞：我是不是很坏啊？是不是做了很垃圾的事情？
GEORGE: No, you're a fine person. You're a humanitarian. She's very sexy.
乔治：不，你是个很好的家伙。你是人道主义者。她很性感。
JERRY: That voice. That voice. She's driving me crazy.
杰瑞：那个声音，那个声音，她把我逼疯了。
GEORGE: I know, I know.
乔治：我知道，了解。
JERRY: So I can see her tonight, and you don't care?
杰瑞：那么我今晚能见她啦，你不在乎？
GEORGE: See her tonight. See her tomarrow. Go. Knock yourself out. She's too crazy for me.
乔治：今晚去见她，明天去见她，放手去吧。尽情享受吧。我可吃不消她的疯劲儿。
JERRY: Alright. As long as you're okay. Because I can't stop thinking about her.
杰瑞：好吧，只要你没问题，因为我现在可是没有一刻不想她啊。
GEORGE: I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm wonderful. I never felt better in my whole life.
乔治：我没事，我很好，我好得不得了。前所未有的好。
JERRY: Good. And I'll tell you what.. You don't have to pay me back the thirty-five I gave to the chiropractor for the rest of your bill.
杰瑞：很好。那我跟你说……我帮你付清了按摩理疗的账单，你不用还我35块钱了。
GEORGE: (Angry) You paid that crook?!
乔治：（发疯）你给那个骗子钱了？
JERRY: I had to.
杰瑞：我不得不啊。
GEORGE: He didn't do anything, Jerry. It's a scam! Who told you to do that?
乔治：他什么也没做啊，杰瑞，这是骗局，谁要你这么做的？！
JERRY: It was embarrassing to me.
杰瑞：我觉得不付有点尴尬。
GEORGE: I was trying to make a point.
乔治：我努力去表明我的立场来着。
JERRY: Why don't you make a point with your own doctor? (George gulps) What's wrong?
杰瑞：你为啥不对你自个儿的医生表明立场？有啥问题吗？
GEORGE: (Gasping) I think I swallowed a fly! ..I swallowed a fly! What do I do? What can happen?
乔治：我大概吞下了个苍蝇！我吞下个苍蝇！我该怎么做？！会发生什么事啊？！
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Jerry's car]
（场景：杰瑞车中）
JERRY: ..So, you want to come up for a few minutes?
杰瑞：……你想要上去坐坐吗？
MARLENE: ..I'm sorry, Jerry. I just don't think this is going to work.
马尔琳：……不好意思，杰瑞，我只是觉得这关系大概行不通。
JERRY: Really? I thought..
杰瑞：真的？我认为……
MARLENE: I know, I'm sorry.
马尔琳：我知道，对不起。
JERRY: I guess I just didn't expect it from the way you've been acting.
杰瑞：我猜从你的表现打死我都想不到有这一出。
MARLENE: You sure you want to talk about this? 'Cause I sure don't.
马尔琳：你确信要谈这个？我可不想谈。
JERRY: Of course I want to talk about it.
杰瑞：我当然要谈这个问题。
MARLENE: Well, okay. I guess things changed for me on Tuesday night.
马尔琳：好吧，好。周二那晚改变了我。
JERRY: Tuesday night? What happened Tuesday night?
杰瑞：周二晚上？周二晚发生了什么？
MARLENE: ..I saw your act.
马尔琳：……我看到你的演出了。
JERRY: My act? What does that have to do with anything?
杰瑞：我的演出？这跟这些有啥关系呀？
MARLENE: Well, to be honest, it just didn't make it for me. It's just so much fluff.
马尔琳：好吧，老实说，反正不是我要的样子，太多没有意义的话了。
JERRY: I can't believe this. So what are you saying? You didn't like my act, so that's it?
杰瑞：难以置信。你想说什么？你不喜欢我的演出，那又如何？
MARLENE: I can't be with someone if I don't respect what they do.
马尔琳：如果我不尊重那个人的工作，我肯定不能和那个人在一起。
JERRY: You're a cashier!
杰瑞：你只是个收银员！
MARLENE: Look, Jerry, it's just not my kind of humor.
马尔琳：听着，杰瑞，反正那不是我喜欢的幽默。
JERRY: You can't go by the audience that night. It was late. They were terrible.
杰瑞：你不能根据当晚观众的表现来看啊，那天很晚了，那些观众很没素质。
MARLENE: I heard the material.
马尔琳：我听到你的“料”了。
JERRY: I have other stuff. You should come see me on the weekend.
杰瑞：我还有别的料呢。你应该周末过来听听。
(Scene ends)

[Setting: Night club]
（场景：俱乐部）
JERRY: Women need to like the job of the guy they're with. If they don't like the job, they don't like the guy. Men know this. Which is why we make up the phony bogus names for the jobs that we have. "Well, right now, I'm the regional management supervisor." "I'm in development, research, consulting." Men on the other hand, if they are physically attracted to a woman are not that concerned with her job. Are we? Men don't really care. Men'll just go, "Really? Slaughterhouse? Is that were you work? That sounds interesting. So whatdya got a big cleaver there? You're just lopping their heads off? That sounds great! Listen, why don't you shower up, and we'll get some burgers and catch a movie."
杰瑞：女人得喜欢那个男人的工作才能和他在一起。要是她们不喜欢那工作的话，她们就不会喜欢那男人。男人们都知道这些。所以我们才绞尽脑汁编造出一些假的公司、职位名字。“嗯，现在，我是区域管理督导”，“我在发展部，研发，咨询”。而男人在被一个女人吸引的时候，才不会在乎她的职业呢。可不是嘛？我们一点也不在乎。男人只会说，”真的？在屠宰场？这是你工作的地方？听起来很有意思嘛。你们是不是有很大的屠刀？你们就是把畜生们的脑袋砍了？听起来真棒！听着，要不你冲个凉，我们去吃点汉堡、看个电影啥的？
 

END OF SHOW.